It's All In The Timing

The End

2007-11-25T15:40:00.000-06:00

It's been real, everyone. Bye.

No, but seriously. "It's All in the Timing", awesome name notwithstanding, has run its course.

I originally started the blog as a commentary on life, but my intention was to not make it personal.

Through my junior year of high school, the blog in fact got very personal, and I used it as a spout for my relationship troubles, social dilemmas, and activity updates. It helped me develop my "one-to-many" blogging writing style, and became a way for me to let off steam, or at least shoot my thoughts out into the world, even though posts would frequently consist of song lyrics or cryptic plays or poems.

In the last year and a half, my freshman and sophomore years of college, I've tried to make it lighter and more relevant to people other than me. Funny? I tried to do that too - maybe it worked, maybe it didn't. When Facebook started importing blog posts into Notes, I did that too, and for a couple of months kept up a weekly posting routine with whimsical, sometimes Seinfeld-esque entries.

So why should it end? I don't really know myself, but when I think about this blog, my feelings for it run very strongly in the past tense. It mostly represents my high school years, I suppose - the feeling of being a kid living with your family at home, being taken care of and fed, doing your homework and chores because your parents tell you to, and the general flavor of teenagerness that embodies high school and, to a lesser extent, my freshman year of college.

I turn twenty in a couple months (January 15, *cough cough*), and that flavor that permeated this blog is all but gone, with this last post sweeping up the lingering scraps of my need to project personal emotion online.

So, as a certain post was titled, what now?

Well, as I immerse myself deeper and deeper into the internet, and learn more and more about website and interaction design, and human-computer interaction, I've discovered a niche for a blog that talks about the principles of these disciplines in a way that a beginner, or close to beginner can understand. And, having teaching running so strongly in my family, I know that the best way to learn is by teaching to someone else.

And so "subject/oriented" was born. I hope to post fairly regularly on this new blog, and my articles will almost always be accessible to a novice audience, and hopefully should be interesting to all. I intend to write about what I'm currently learning in the field of interaction design, explore case studies of good (and bad) web design, and link to and offer commentary on other articles in the (and I hate to use this word) "blogosphere". There, it's done. Never using that word again.

I'm also making the switch from my good friend Blogger to a WordPress installation on my own server space. Blogger is amazing, and so, so simple to use, but fiddling around with WordPress is a really good learning experience for me, and I hope to use it in my web design much more in the future, so having subject/oriented on that platform will be a good step.

Well, that's about it. I'm going to try and have Facebook import my posts on the new blog as well, but the content probably won't be as colorful as these posts have been. Oh well - hopefully it'll be more useful to someone out there.

Fin.

(s/o)

Halo 3 Opens Big

2007-09-27T11:01:00.000-05:00

Halo 3 officially is the biggest thing ever, breaking launch records to become the single biggest U.S. entertainment launch ever with estimates of sales up to $170 million. That means it beat out Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (the book) and Spider-man 3 (the movie).

Recipe: Some Kind of Mutated Bruschetta

2007-08-21T13:30:00.000-05:00

Here's something I came up with last night while watching Arrested Development: some sort of mutated bruschetta thing.

1. Dice a half tomato and about a fourth of a bell pepper.
2. Mix both together with a little bit of salsa, red pepper, salt, pepper, garlic, and oregano.
3. Serve with sliced, slightly toasted, bread. Garnish with lettuce.

An Ear to the Ground

2007-08-20T23:56:00.001-05:00

As if we needed further proof that Google is awesome (mostly), the response today on their blog to the backlash against their discontinuation of their download-to-own/rent program shows us all that the company whose informal slogan is "Don't Be Evil" is, indeed, not evil. The basic impression on the online community was that Google shortchanged the people who had bought videos from them, giving them only Google Checkout credit, which, to some people, was much worse than actual money - and not much of it at that.
Google's response? Listen to the complaints, assume the customer is right, and give them more. Might I add that it seems that Google expended quite a bit of its own effort in this technically unnecessary but, I assume, very welcome move. The blog post is here.

And in other news, the design (made by Dan Cederholm) for the social community site centered around wine, Cork'd, got completely ripped off by some other site presuming to sell templates. Now that's just annoying.

The Paramecia Flies Again!

2007-08-10T14:21:00.000-05:00

Just a quick plug for Brynn Shepherd's redesign of her website, Flying Paramecia, which was featured on no less than five CSS and design galleries:

It's cool and, dare I say it, nifty. Go check it out.

Recipe: Quick Salad

2007-08-10T00:04:00.001-05:00

A quick salad that I came up with the other day. Note: I don't use measurements like teaspoons and tablespoons, etc., because I don't know how.

1. Chop two leaves of romaine lettuce into chunks about an inch wide, put in a bowl.
2. Dice a half tomato and a half pear, arrange over lettuce.
3. Add a pinch of salt and pepper.
4. Top with red wine vinaigrette dressing.

This works really well if you can find those fresh, crispy pears, but normal pears work fine as well. The salad should end up kind of sweet.

Teaching: The Real Story

2007-08-09T12:14:00.000-05:00

Really excellent article here on how different teaching is in real life than in the movies by Tom Moore on the New York Times website.

And here's the digg entry, if that's your flavor. This article (and issue) deserves visibility.

I'm Quite Serious

2007-08-08T15:18:00.000-05:00

I absolutely refuse to get into a theological discussion with anyone (outside of my family, best friends, and significant other) unless that person gives me $20 to keep until I've decided that they've said something new and/or enlightening, at which point I will return it to them.

A Healthy Sense of Self-Crappiness

2007-07-23T22:52:00.000-05:00

When I wake up every morning, and regard my scrawny, gangly body and my rather unremarkable (some would say repulsive) features, I typically content myself with the knowledge I've devoted myself, more or less, to developing and sharpening my mind.

And then people like Natalie Portman come along.

Natalie Portman's psychology major from Harvard completely obliviates what small sense of self-worth I have. There are, of course, many Harvard psychology graduates, but none with such gorgeous looks and poise - indeed, few other actresses look as good with a shaven head, proving it's not all makeup.

She speaks or has studied five languages - five! She's co-authored two research papers that were published in scientific journals. She's a vegetarian (okay, that one probably only interests me). And she portrayed herself as an angry gansta rapper on SNL. Wikipedia's term, not mine.

That's when I get a sudden surge of "wait, what have I done with my life again?".

Re: Vista Sparks Stronger XP Sales

2007-07-22T12:50:00.000-05:00

As seen on Computer World here.

But really, that makes a lot of sense. Many, many companies tend to stay one OS release behind current, meaning that up until now, they were all using Windows 2000 or (God forbid) Windows ME. These companies are simply upgrading to XP now - it's not like people are purchasing Vista and then repurchasing XP.

Seven.

2007-07-21T07:03:00.001-05:00

Just finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

It took me seven hours from when it was released.

And it was good.

I feel a little like a part of my childhood just ended with that last page, but you know what? I think I'm okay with that.

Facebook Down?

2007-06-28T17:28:00.000-05:00

I'm getting a strange error alert message whenever I try to visit the login page on Facebook or login from the home page:

"Error establishing an encrypted connection to login.facebook.com. Error Code: -12188."

Anyone know what this is?

My Moleskine

2007-06-27T14:19:00.000-05:00

So recently I've taken to... starting blocks of text or speech with the word "so" - probably a bad habit; anyways...

So recently I've taken to using a Moleskine notebook again - first casually, just because I needed some way to keep track of bugs, fixes, and to do lists for the mySQL database manager I'm building (TableSettings) and also for the work I'm doing for BASIK, but then I started to read more about it, and there's a lot of stuff online about how to use Moleskines (or really any notebook, but the Moleskine seems to inspire, oddly enough, both organization and creativity) productively, to help organize your life. So here are a couple of my own Moleskine hacks, as they're called.
The first is using an ink or gel pen that you're comfortable with (my pen of choice: the Pilot G-2, a carryover from my debater days. In fact, I once knew a debater who could write on a moving bus with a Pilot G-2 and have it come out like type.). Not much of hack, but it makes writing in the book so much more pleasurable (as if it wasn't already).
The second is to draw a line across the top of the page, about half an inch down, and use that area to "tag" the content on the page - "TableSettings", "New Site Ideas", "Doodles", etc.
Third, I use small boxes that I fill in to mark off to do lists, instead of just drawing a check next to the item - the solid blocks of ink are much easier visually for me than the lines of a checkmark.
Finally, I'm using a system I found somewhere (I lost it, that's why the word "somewhere" isn't a link to it), wherein you have two durable tabs - one marking the next blank page and one marking the last page that you have stuff you need to do on. This way, everything between the tabs needs your attention (kind of like the inbox in the Getting Things Done system) and everything before the tabs is "archived" (a la Gmail). Finally, I have flimsier Post-It tabs of a different color which I use to "star" (also Gmail-esque) items that I might need to refer to later or are interesting - ideas, interesting drawings, and so on.
Oh, and one more thing - when I'm at a computer, I keep my Moleskine open next to me, to my left (because I'm left-handed). This way I can use the mouse and arrow keys with my right hand, and access my notebook with my left hand.
The entire system works pretty well together, but we'll see if I can keep this up. I think the key to organization is possibly to make it fun to be organized and/or to organize, and this may be it for me.

The Dilemma

2007-06-20T12:02:00.000-05:00

So it turns out the one of the songs on my "No Words" playlist has words. I guess I never actually listened to the song all the way through before creating the playlist of which (the intro of) this song was an instrumental (pun intended) part.
So now do I take the song off the playlist? Or do I change the playlist's name to "Almost No Words" or something similar?
Leave a comment and let me know (also suggest a name for the playlist if it's the latter). A cookie to the smartest answer (and I'm talking a small file residing impishly on your computer recording your browser session).

On Routine

2007-03-12T09:34:00.001-05:00

Routine can be, well, monotonous, but it can also be very comforting. Today was the first day back at school after spring break, and I quickly settled into my normal Monday-morning progression.
Wake up, leave the quad, go to the cafe and order my usual mocha with an extra shot of espresso. Today I tried an Odwalla bar (which I've never had before), but that, too, is part of the routine - I typically switch around what I eat.
While routine can be nice, it also brings forward, sometimes painfully, the repetitiveness of everyday life. This routine happens nearly every Monday, but also Wednesdays and Fridays, for weeks and weeks, only broken by events like spring break or a cancelled class (or oversleeping, for that matter). Is that bad? Not necessarily, but in the end, you really have to find something that changes to keep you going. Doing the same things for days and days on end tends not to have a purpose unless you're reaching some finish line, or achieving some goal. End of the semester? Perhaps. Graduating from college? Maybe.
But I like to find smaller things, more specific and detailed aspects of my life that I can progress in. Today I'm going to take notes on my laptop in Sociology (every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, right after Computer Science), and I'm going to make them detailed and easy to study from. Today I'm going to finish my computer model in 3D Modeling (Mondays and Wednesdays).
Sometimes it feels like life is made up of the same patterns, over and over and over and over again. But when you look closer, or perhaps when you take a step back and take in the big picture, things change over time, and that's what routine is for - it helps us digest and accommodate the change in a way that improves our lives.

On Footnotes

2007-02-12T18:30:00.000-06:00

While reading the book Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman recently, I remembered something that has bothered me for quite some time. This is, I wish they would make the little numbers that refer to footnotes just a bit bigger. I always read the page, and then arrive at the end of it, ready to move and then - wait...there's more! But where was it supposed to go? What was this supposed to annotate, add to, or support? Then inevitably comes the long hunt back through every word of the page, looking for the microscopic number to the right of, and a little above, what is often some arbitrary word. By the time I've found it, it's ruined, because I have, of course, already perused the footnote in order to glean some information about what word the corresponding number is attending to, or at least in what section of the page it is hiding.

On Gift Cards

2006-12-31T00:37:00.000-06:00

I sometimes wonder about the recent proliferation of gift cards as an acceptable form of gifting. Where, exactly, does it lie in the food chain of presents? The cash gift is, of course, at the bottom - it's either the gift from the generous aunt or uncle or grandparent that believes that you'd know best what you want, and should buy it yourself, or it's the hasty gift from the friend who forgot about your birthday until approximately ten minutes ago. Normal gifts fall higher up, more or less, depending on how personalized the gift is. College apparel? Not so high. Book relating to inside joke or personal experience with letter written inside to the receiver? Much higher.
So, the gift card. One one hand, it's probably better than cash - at least the giver thought about where you frequently shop, and/or where you'll soon spend money. On the other hand, if they're giving you essentially money, then wouldn't it be more considerate just to hand you the money and let you use it where you most need it? But what if the point of the gift card is that you won't utilize the money to buy groceries? What if the point is that the money has already been spent at the GAP, and you now have the choice of exactly which luxury to squander it on? Perhaps the real meaning of the gift card is for you to not feel guilty about spending money somewhere where you wouldn't normally spend it.
It has, after all, already been spent.

On Tea

2006-12-22T06:44:00.000-06:00

I had a bad dream last night. I had (somehow) programmed together a world where the seasons actually changed (this was a main design feature), yielding ice that formed and melted, temperatures that changed, differing day lengths - the works. I was extremely proud of myself.
The people who lived in my world weren't quite so happy. Instead of it being the idyllic, peaceful community I had envisioned, things began to go awry. There were attacks, killings. Eventually, even the cops cracked under the pressure of their charges being murdered, one by one, and began to perceive everyone as a threat, slaughtering indiscriminantly as well.
Every time a murderer hunted, I was there, watching him stalk his prey ruthlessly, and I wondered what was wrong with my world, that people had to do such things.
Every time someone snapped, I was there, watching their mind and their body as two separate incarnations of themself, and watching the former convince the latter to do terrible things.
And every time an innocent person had a gun pointed at them and the trigger pulled, I was there, looking out through their eyes, wondering why it had to be me, and sobbing at the unfairness of it all.
Finally, it was spring. The ice was melting. The last few inhabitants of the town were either dead or dying, having shot each other in a horrific encounter only moments earlier, and the air was once again silent, save only for a piteous moan from one of the wounded, and the flowing, gushing sound of the small, newly thawed waterfall.
I woke, yes, with a start, and lay in bed for a few minutes, clutching my comforter, which wasn't living up to its name nearly as much as I needed at that moment. There was no one nearby to hold me, nothing to give me solace from my own mind.
I looked at the time - it was 6:23 am. My mother had to be awake, at least, by now - she had to be at work at something like 7:30. I went downstairs, and while in the sink lay a used mug, by the stove waited the rest of the pot of tea my mother had made.
She had left for work already, so the tea was mine - I poured myself a cup, and sat down at the computer, ready to record the unsung fate of my ethereal world.

On Returning Home

2006-12-20T12:51:00.000-06:00

You're not surprised by the things that you expect when you return home after a long time. For example, walking into my house, and putting my backpack and guitar down seemed perfectly normal - I've done that hundreds of times after school.
But the doorknobs...the doorknobs threw me off. At Penn the doorknobs are all either handles or large globe-like constructions. The doorknobs at home are round, small, and flat. Also, my dogs smell (expectedly) faintly of dog, although I think that after less than 24 hours, I'm already used to the smell again.
It's the small things that get you - when you're not thinking about something and then it's different. I realized this when I reached into our cabinet for a bowl, and the big bowl and the small bowls and the plates were all exactly how I'd left them - but how easy would it have been for them to be different? I would have been completely derailed. Like when I reached into the kitchen drawer for a slip of paper from the pad that was usually there, but was now expended, the cardboard backing long since disposed of.
But still, when I look around and see the remnants of the paper on the kitchen table, the pages folded open to the crossword and sudoku puzzles, and a few scattered squeaky toys on the floor for my dogs, and the pot with the dregs of the tea from this morning idling in the kitchen, I realized that, thankfully, some things never change.

On Simultaneousness

2006-12-17T16:38:00.000-06:00

There's something about the word "simultaneously" that conjures up an impression of immense skill. The implication that not only can one do something, but can do it twice at the same time is staggering: eat two sandwiches...simultaneously! Bounce two basketballs...simultaneously! Write a paper and talk on the phone...simultaneously! Play two trumpets...simultaneously! Anyone who can do two things that require a reasonable amount of skill simultaneously can pretty much boast that not only do they have an amount of skill equal to the two combined, but can actually multiply the two skill levels together, and put that on their resume. I'd hire them.

On Sitting

2006-12-17T16:20:00.000-06:00

I can't just sit. I have to sit in some strange, contorted position, else I feel uncomfortable. For example, on a couch, I typically sit sideways across the arms. I was just reading a book for an extended period of time on a couch, and while I started out sitting upright, I went through gradual phases and ended up swiveled around 180 degrees so that my feet were dangling over the back somewhere, and my head was next to one of the armrests.
Same thing with chairs - just "sitting" is so bland. I have to sit cross-legged or cross one leg over the other, or at least cross my feet.
The same thing happens with laying down. If I'm trying to go to sleep, I can't just lay on my back with my arms by my side and my legs straight out. I always feel somewhat dead when I do that.
You can learn a lot about someone by how they sit. There are the open leg sitters: those ones who always look like they're leaning forward, their arms resting on their somewhat spread apart legs, doing something (anything) intently. Then there are those who will put their arms on the seat back of anyone who's close by. That always somewhat unnerves me: did they sit by me on purpose so they could do that? What if I wanted to do that myself? I can't lean back now - that would result in contact between my neck and their arm - completely awkward.
There are, of course, those who don't sit. They just won't: "Oh, do you want to sit down?" - "No thanks, I'm fine", even though they're not going anywhere. It's as though they want to make sure they can manage a quick escape, should the situation require it.
Arms are troublesome appendages; they always get in the way when sitting, especially if there's nothing to be done with them. If there's no food, no coffee, no tea, no hand to hold, no video game to play...what do you do with them? They just awkwardly idle about - there should, instead, be some sort of way to retract your arms when they're not in use, or, conversely, some accepted social practice of ways to link your arms the person sitting next to you in these types of situations. Instead, people check their cell phones, play with their keys...anything to keep their arms busy.

On Showers

2006-10-11T23:58:00.000-05:00

College, like so many other things, is a mixed bag. But one thing I'd really, really like to change is to have decent showers here. Seriously. They're just disgusting. I don't even want to talk about, for fear that I'll just spontaneously vomit. I often feel that I'm filthier when I leave the bathroom than when I entered, albeit a tad waterlogged.
Now I'm no stranger to strange showers. In fact, in Germany the showers were far more interesting than here. When we stayed in the hostel in Berlin (meant for backpackers and such), the shower was activated by pressing a button. It also only stayed on if the button was pressed. Thus, if you were taking a shower, you had to twist and turn to keep at least a finger on that button, and perhaps take a few risky hand-switches in the middle. I assumed that the problem there would be that the water was too cold. It's a relatively cold country, and so they could run out of hot water, or any number of associated problems. To my suprise, the water temperature was fine; pleasantly hot. The only problem was, it increased in temperature as time progressed. So after one minute it was warm, after five it was hot, after ten it was scorching, and by God if you stood in there for over twenty minutes you'd have third degree burns all over your body.
When I got to my German exchange partner's house, I figured the situation would be easier, especially after I got to the shower and discovered the familiar red and blue labelled knobs for water. The caveat, however, was that the blue knob released hot water, while the red knob yielded...hotter water.
In any case, I'd still take scalding water over a shower that looks like it came out of a dumpster. The air fare home to Texas is almost worth it just to take a clean shower.

Constant

2006-10-10T18:17:00.000-05:00

It’s 9:30 on Tuesday morning, and one of my favorite parts of the week. It’s the mere hour between my 8:30-9:30 math recitation and my 10:30-noon music class. Since the buildings are relatively far from my room, I pass the time at the nearby Starbucks at the corner of 34th and Walnut.
This hour, every week, is a constant. No matter that I stayed up until 3 the night before, never mind that my grade on my math midterm is abysmal, and not to worry that I haven’t done the homework due in marketing tonight.
This hour is a constant. I consciously make myself not work during this hour, not stress, not worry, not fret, and not be bothered by the myriad of things that aren’t quite right in the world. Right now, during this hour, this constant, it’ll all turn out fine.
To the right of my laptop is a tall hot chocolate (they were out of caramel apple cider – I’ll try again next week). To the left is a chocolate croissant. It’s not always hot chocolate and a chocolate croissant – in fact, it seldom is. Last week it was a cappuccino and a slice of pumpkin loaf. The week before that it was something different, and next week it will likely be something different. The details don’t have to be constant – just the hour.
The music of the moment is something country-bluesy, conveniently playing on the speakers around the store: just soft enough to be unobtrusive, but just loud enough to resonate.
The hour is just long enough to finish a drink and something for breakfast – that’s why it’s an hour and nothing different.
I haven’t ordered straight coffee here yet – I always feel like I might offend the barista with the simplicity of my order. The people who are ordering less than ten feet from me seem to have studied their whole lives for the moment that they step up to the counter, make eye contact, and recite their perfectly personalized panorama of flavors.
There are two entrances to this Starbucks, and the small table that I’m sitting at looks out the window at one of them. The people who come in are an interesting gaggle (What do you call a group of coffee addicts? The answer: a roast), running the gamut from businessmen who down their triple shots with a kind of manly zest, to students who grab a caffe latte before class. They enter in different ways, too: the 54 year old professor walks in steadily and calmly – class can’t start without him; while the 19 year old international relations student with a midterm in two minutes rushes in and gapes at the line – class can and will start without her.
And the teenager with a backpack who orders a simple hot chocolate and chocolate croissant enters with a kind of reverence and inhales deeply once he steps over the threshold, because this is his hour – his constant.

Open Facebook

2006-09-26T08:58:00.000-05:00

So facebook is now open to everyone. Know what I suggest? Stop complaining and use those privacy settings. The first thing I did was go through every single privacy page and limit what people can see about me in regional networks and create a limited profile. Even on facebook, anything online is still online, and there are ways for people to get at it. Anyone who thinks that they can put all sorts of things online and expect them to stay private is a fool.
But please, please, please Mark: don't sell out to Yahoo. I don't want to see "My Yahooligans!" underneath "My Groups".
See y'all online. Yeah I said it. Y'all.

Fork and Knife

2006-09-21T23:27:00.000-05:00

Auditions for Fork and Knife Improv are this Sunday, at 2 PM. Location is forthcoming shortly - contact me for more information.

Penn

2006-09-18T01:36:00.000-05:00

Hello world (yes, I'm taking computer science). I'm at the University of Pennyslvania (not Penn State, you dumb...you know), and things have never been better. Or worse. I'm not sure.
In fact, college is pretty much a mixed bag of good and bad. At the moment, the current "bad" is the fact that the restrooms have a wonderful, pungently odorous aroma of feces and urine. Together. Mixed. Merged in some sort of unholy union of human waste. It's hard to breathe because of the overpowering reek in there. I was in there less than a minute and, I kid you not, my nose stuffed itself up. That's right, it took a hit to protect the rest of my body. Thank you nose - your sacrifice will not be soon forgotten.
Philadelphia, too, is a mixed bag. The Penn campus is half-in, half-out of Philly, so the mix of students and locals makes for an interesting potpourri wherever you go. I'm going to whip out my camera and start taking pictures soon, and perhaps posting them either here, or making a new album on my facebook profile (which is linked to on the right, and on which this blog is now being syndicated to). Anyways, the number of things that have happened here are almost too many to count. A few of the highlights: I have a good roommate - very chill, in general, even when he bashed his leg open and pools of blood flowed all over our rug and floor. My class aren't too hard, except for Math, but I think I can muscle through it. The gym here has a 40' rock climbing wall, which I think I'm going to start frequenting. I didn't make the debate team, but I am joining an improv group, which promises to be a lot of fun.
That's about it for tonight, so I'll leave you with a question:
What's YOUR favorite cereal?

Top 10 Games Of All Time

2006-09-12T10:49:00.000-05:00

I read an article describing the top 5 games of all time, but most of them are pretty obscure. So here are my top 10 games of all time, in no particular order.

Super Smash Bros.
Half-Life 2
Counter-Strike: Source
Halo
Halo 2
Unreal Tournament
Unreal Tournament 2004
Command & Conquer: Generals: Zero Hour
Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2: Yuri's Revenge
Battlefield 1942

There are so many other good ones, but these are the ones I really enjoyed playing (and some I still play).

Study Links Music With Sex

2006-08-22T01:28:00.000-05:00

Quoted from The Week [volume 6, issue 273, page 21]:

"Researchers for the Rand Corporation conducted interviews with 1,461 adolescent volunteers over a period of three years, asking questions about music choices and how they affected kids' sex lives. They found that the teens who were bombarded with sexy lyrics and degrading portrayals of women in raunchy songs had allowed those messages to sink in. Of those who often listened to hip-hop and other explicit music, 51 percent started having sex within two years, versus 29 percent of those who listened to less provocative music. Researcher Steve Martino said..."We think that really lowers kids' inhibitions, and makes them less thoughtful" about their sexual decision, Martino tells the Associated Press...17-year-old Natasha Ramsay [says] "...it is the music" [even though teens will try to deny it]."

Now wait just one moment here. Teens who listen to music that emphasizes sex tend to have sex sooner and more often. All right, that can be factually established. But let's look at a few more facts here. The study was conducted on teen volunteers, ages 12 to 17, via phone. The first problem arises when you ask, which ones volunteered? That can skew results. The second, and most major problem, arises when you put this into a chicken-and-egg light. Isn't it possible that the teens who are already likely to engage in sexual activity earlier listen to that type of music? From my experience among my friends, that certainly seems likely.
In other reports on this study, I've seen a few admissions of this omission, but not nearly enough - it should be mentioned in every article this report is mentioned in. A basic caution in analyzing statistics is not to mistake a cause for an effect, however much you'd like to be able to publish those results.
One article expressed disgust that teenagers would get their sex ed from explicit rap and hip-hop songs, and that only 19 percent had "good communication with a trusted adult about sex." Since when has a large percentage of kids talked freely and openly with adults about sex? It's a taboo subject in our society.
Like most things, the truth is probably a balance between cause and effect on both sides. I welcome discussion on this in the comments below, but acknowledge the other side, like so many of these articles have failed to do.

Dear Nirav

2006-08-19T15:26:00.000-05:00

In my daily perusal of the newspaper, I usually read "Dear Abby" in passing (because it's right underneath the comics). What I've found is shocking: Abby does indeed promote intolerance. For example:
One day, I saw a column about a woman who, while having happily married parents and a six-year long relationship with the perfect man for her, wanted to run every time marriage was talked about. Abby's response? It's perfectly natural! Having such happily married parents sets the bar quite high for your own marriage.
All right, that's fine. But take a look at another day.
The column was about a letter sent in again by a woman, but this time, her boyfriend was the one who "couldn't commit". I read further, expecting a reasoned response from Abby showing the woman how her boyfriend might have had parental issues to work through. But no! Instead, this was cause for the woman to "keep her options open". Keep her options open? That brings to mind a Desperate Housewives-esque (the version of the show that non-viewers assume, not the version it actually is) fling with all the pool boys and milkmen in sight.
So, this double-standard can be two things. It can either be Abby always siding with the letter-writer (which does often happen), or it can be Abby always taking the woman's side. I'd like to know which one it is.

Now that that's over, I'd like to note that this is just an examination of a couple letters to Abby. In truth, I can't even find the first one anymore - it may have been in some other article. Also in truth, Abby's viewpoints are generally socially liberal and pretty dead-on. In searching for that first article online, I ran across all sorts of critiques of Abby's columns, ranging from taking offense on her view that homosexuality is genetic to everything else. Her advice is typically sound and open-minded. But this blog post was fun to write nonetheless.

USB?

2006-08-16T21:50:00.000-05:00

Right. So I'm attempting to make my USB drive work. My USB mouse works in that same USB port. My small JumpDrive plugs into it. When I go to Device Manager, it shows up as JumpDrive. The only problem is, it doesn't show up under My Computer, which is, of course, where it needs to be.
After making my computer jump through flaming hoops and flip backwards over hungry lions to try and access my USB drive, I finally swallow my pride and click on "Troubleshoot...". This helps, in the sense that it doesn't help at all. The troubleshooter asks me inane questions like, "Is your USB device connected?"
Finally, I go to Windows Update, as a last resort. The website then scanned my system for the ActiveX controls that would allow it to check whether or not I have the latest version of the Windows Update software updater. Then it intstalled those ActiveX controls, and then found that that I didn't have that latest updater software. So it installed the updater software, and then updated my version of Windows Update. Then, after all of this, I could finally see which updates were available for my computer.
I gave up.

Assorted Thoughts

2006-07-31T02:12:00.000-05:00

I returned to my computer today to find it happily resting on the Welcome screen. When I left it, it had been logged in and I had a few windows open. Not so anymore - it had done it again: my computer had restarted in my absense, leaving me clueless as to why or when this had happened. The silent killer. As much as I like technology, any computer that I own seems to never be fast enough for me, or have strange and inexplicable driver or compatability issues that plague me throughout my ownership of said machine.

Ever wonder why the Italians made antipasti an appetizer? They couldn't combine it with the pasta in the main course, or the universe would implode.

A friend asked me when you would possibly use calculus outside of an extremely technical engineering job. Here's the answer: Suppose that a cannon was being fired at you, and you had, for some reason, a graphing calculator, graph paper, and various writing instruments. Given the angle of the cannon, the amount of gunpowder, the friction of the barrel, the weight of the cannonball, and about a dozen other tiny measurements that, while seemingly small, nevertheless make an important impact on the flight of aforementioned cannonball, you could conceivably figure out the path of the projectile in time to move out of the way.
And even then, you would still not use calculus.

It's likely that I won't end up using any of my AP exam scores to receive credit for classes at the University of Pennsylvania. What a waste of time.

My schedule for Penn was incredibly hard to create. It seems that the course timetable is designed for people to take four courses per semester, instead of five, because every time I tried to fit in the fifth course, it'd end up with me having classes for about ten hours straight.

Flight to Philadelphia, PA on August 26, 2006 at 7:55 AM. Next time I come back will be winter break, starting December 21.

That's all, folks.

A Letter

2006-07-18T13:53:00.000-05:00

Dear Movie Writers,

As an individual who feels the pressure of a certain amount of social responsibility, I feel that I must inform you of a fact that has been percolating in my mind for some time now.

Guys getting kicked in the balls isn't really that funny anymore.

For the past half-century, and even before that, scrotal impact has been a mainstay of the slapstick comedy form of movies. That, in itself, is acceptable. Where throwaway gags and shallow puns abound, men being kicked, punched, or otherwise struck between their legs are sure to fit completely in place.

My conscience, however, takes issue with the spread of testicular crushings into any and all other genres. It seems as though it's become almost a requirement for any movie that even remotely is intended to be funny to have someone's nuts bashed in at some point, coupled with a long and drawn-out reaction from the victim.

It's really not that humorous anymore.

Granted, the fact that the mechanics and setup of the male anatomy make it possible to completely incapacitate a victim with a swift kick to the groin is interesting in and of itself, but put into the larger context of a scene in a movie, does not always have comedic value.

Finally, the strange contortions that the sequence of events in a scene sometimes has to go through in order to facilitate the genitalial crunching of some hapless bystander often give a movie more strange turns than the driving routes Tom Cruise plans out to avoid the media seeing his new baby.

I felt that it was my responsibility to tell you this, in hopes that you may think of some new ways to infuse humor into a scene.

Thank you,

Nirav Sanghani

"Cut Short"

2006-07-05T23:47:00.000-05:00

I was just shown an article in the Houston Press today by Todd Spivak, an article that resides online. You can read it here. It's the full story of Pavlos Karnezis's explusion and later readmittance to Hightower High School, along with the way that certain people complicated the situation almost beyond repair. Read it and spread it around, please.

Still Funny

2006-07-04T21:18:00.000-05:00

This is still funny, every time I read it:

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

I'm Back!

2006-06-25T00:05:00.000-05:00

And probably not much better than ever. Germany, however, was amazingly awesome. I can't wait to go back. The FIFA World Cup was awesome. Bonn was awesome. The Deep Purple concert I went to there was awesome. It was all awesome. And hilarious. Something about going on a trip with Andrew Kulha makes it inherently funny.
Want proof? Here are some bona fide quotes from the trip:

-"How long do you get for a dollar?"
-"Four minutes."

-"We need someone on top of her!"

-"I feel like I've got the whole world in my pants."

-"Okay, so you get her from behind, and I'll take a picture."

Of course, it was only fun until someone got hurt. Then it was hilarious. Here's the list of people who had to go to the doctor. Interestingly enough, it alternated between Germans and Americans.

Erwin - broken collarbone
Marc - broken finger
Nirav - damaged knee
Marcus - allergies
Alex - ear problems
Felix - allergies
Kyle - bronchitis

Now I can't forget the fact that when you've got thirty teenagers stuck together for three weeks, hormones are bound to flare up in all of their awkward flirting glory. During our collective time together in Houston and Bonn, there were no fewer than twenty attempted hookups. I think only about four succeeded. Suckers.

Thanks, by the way, for everyone who came to my graduation party. It was a ton of fun. Of course, I'm starting to think that graduation parties are mainly for parents. Guests come, congratulate the graduate, and then naturally turn to the parents: "Not bad!".
Even so, my party was pretty lucrative for me too. I made more money from my party than I've made in my entire life combined. I'm thinking I should graduate more often - maybe go for a victory lap at Hightower.

Just kidding. Ain't no way I'm going back there. That ship has sailed...or perhaps "sunk" might be more appropriate.

Finally, my sister is going to New York City to be a middle school science teacher for the next two years. Here is the link to the blog that she's keeping of her experiences. The link is also going to the right hand side of my page, underneath the archives section. Enjoy!

Von Deutschland

2006-06-06T14:33:00.001-05:00

In English, the title is ´From Germany´.

So that, my friends, is that. High school´s over, and I now am in the middle of a foreign country, having the time of my life. Or I would be, if my meniscus wasn´t damaged. Yes, that´s right, for the first time in my life, I have a major injury. Aside from that, there´s way too much that we´ve done and seen to relate it all here, so I´ll just let this post finish here.

My English has degenerated here. And this keyboard is hard to type on (the y and z keys are switched, among other things).

Auf Wiedersehen!

The Speech (uncensored)

2006-05-26T23:37:00.000-05:00

(Uncensored portions are in bold and italics. At graduation, I added in a thank you to Mrs. Paquin for letting us do Guitar Club, and also nods to Denise Tanner and Rod Soto; all at the end of my thank-yous. Also, I added in a request for a round of applause for our parents before I thanked my own parents.)

Thank you, Joy. Joy’s been a wonderful friend ever since freshman year. I must have cost her hundreds of dollars of gas when she got her license a year before me, and she graciously gave me rides everywhere. Damn, we're huge nerds.

A good friend of mine has a theory that each one of us has at least one hundred years to live. One hundred years; that’s a long time. And throughout these last four years, whenever I’ve been stressed about homework and projects, or burdened with drama and conflicts, I try to remember: I still have at least eighty years left. That’s a long time too. And whatever is happening now, whether it’s schoolwork or personal issues, that it won’t matter much, in eighty years. Or even in forty years.

But this, Class of 2006, this graduation will matter in forty years and eighty years too. This departure from one stage of our lives to the next, this end of the beginning; this will matter.

So let go of all the little things that won’t matter, my fellow classmates; forgive that nasty argument in spring, and that bad break-up last summer, but value the best friend that stuck up for you. Forget the time all of your books fell out of your backpack in the middle of the hallway in front of the counselor’s suite before second period, and instead remember the time you saw it happen to me, and couldn’t stop laughing until lunch.

Let go of the bumps and bruises of the last four years, and instead revel in the growth that we’ve all experienced. We’ve all gone from insecure, somewhat naïve freshman, to confident, mature seniors. Take pride in that, ’06; that’s the victory we’ve all won together.

Some of you may disagree that I've successfully become confident and mature. Be that as it may, I know I would definitely not be making this speech if not for a lot of wonderful people.

First, I need to thank my friends. I knew none of you when I entered high school, and yet now I feel like I have a second family. I’m continually amazed at your generosity, open-mindedness, and overall kindness. Many of you literally walked up to me and made me be your friend, and I can’t thank you enough for that.

Specifically, the three people who have inescapeably changed my life during high school: Jordan Marbach, who is the most intrinsically nice person I have ever known, and showed me the virtue of sincerity; Ha Nguyen, who played therapist for me so many times, and taught me more about everything than I could have ever learned on my own; and Luis Diez, who, along with being an amazing friend, introduced me to guitar, and thus, to myself.

Next, the members and sponsors of the organizations I’ve been in: Speech & Debate, Math & Science, Guitar Club (which rocked out at its first concert last week), German Club, and Orchestra. It is these clubs, and all the others, that make Hightower known everywhere as a badass competitor and a good sport, from academics to athletics to everything in between. And then my teachers and (certain) administrators, especially the ones whom I’ve known for a few years; all of you have made learning fun for me, and I can only hope to be lucky enough to learn from professors even the slightest bit like you. I can't not mention here Denise Tanner and Rod Soto, two of the most amazing teachers I've ever had the honor of knowing. They've both been so much more than teachers to me: they've been my mentors, my friends; everything.

To save the best for last, I have to thank my family. Those of you who have met them know that they’re wonderfully kind, extremely supportive, and have a wacky sense of humor to boot. Everything that I’ve accomplished, I dedicate to you. My grandmother, who has recently flown in from India to be here; you’ve spoiled me as only a grandmother can, and it’s been wonderful having you staying with us on and off for the past few years.

To my parents; whenever I think about the far future, I’m scared that I won’t be able to be as good a parent as you two were to me. To my father; as clichéd as it sounds, when I finally do grow up, I want to be a lot like you. You, more than anyone else, have kept me grounded and sane throughout this time. To my mother, who homeschooled me in elementary and middle school; I guess you did okay with that, didn’t you; you’ve given me a love for learning that I can’t imagine living without.

Lastly, to my sister, Priti, who is everything from my partner in crime to my best friend to my confidant, and who is graduating from Stanford University in a few weeks. I’m so, so proud of you. You’ve been such an awesome role model and mentor to me; I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t always just a phone call away.

So here’s what I say to you, Class of 2006: let go of the little things, and be proud of this big one; though everything from make-up tests to mercury spills may have stood in your way, you’ve made it here despite all these obstacles against you.

As the great blues guitarist B. B. King once said, “The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you.” This achievement is yours forever, Class of 2006. Thank you, good luck, rock on, and go kick some for me.

The War

2006-05-23T19:27:00.000-05:00

Today, two days before my partially outdoor graduation party, my parents and I have discovered a nest of bees entrenched in the small gap between the brick and the wood that makes up the back wall of our house. The wood part of the second floor has a slight overhang over the brick wall of the first story, so the bees have set up the entrance to their camp in the upper corner, underneath the overhang. At any given moment, there are about twenty to thirty bees patrolling the area around the entrance for several feet in every direction. This poses a problem; how to get at them?
My parents and I looked up various remedies on the Internet, from soapy water to pesticides. The problem was, anything that we used would have to project itself up the hole in order to reach the nest, meaning anything non-compressed and ready-to-shoot was out of the question. My mom went to Lowe's and returned twenty minutes later with two different types of Wasp/Hornet spray while my dad and I cleared the plants underneath the overhang. This was war, and we wanted to minimize civilian casualties.
My mom dressed for action - a jacket and a pair of gardening gloves. My dad and I set up our ladder a few feet from the overhang and, armed with the first can of insecticide, she slowly planted a foot on the first step. With no response from the bees, she advanced cautiously, gripping the can tightly. About halfway up the ladder, she aimed and fired. The spray from the insecticide, supposedly 25 feet long, was in fact about five feet at best. She emptied the can at the bees, but to no avail, at least that we could see.
My dad, similarly dressed, took the second can and, like the first wave, he crept up the ladder, checking for any reaction at each step. We had moved the ladder closer for this attempt, but the spray still fell pitifully short of the entrance to the nest. He emptied this can as well, but this was more to get rid of it than out of any real trust that it would work.
For our next attack, we waited until near dusk, when websites and friends had told us that the majority of the bees were likely to be in the nest. And indeed, the number of bees patrolling seemed to have lessened. Emboldened by our successful prediction, we moved the ladder directly underneath the entrance to the nest for our next weapon: a fogger.
Foggers are generally used indoors: a "fogged" house would have one of these pressurized canisters set on the floor of every room with all the furniture covered and people and pets evacuated. A jet of toxic insecticide would spray out vertically from the top of the canister, and this chemical would saturate the air inside the house, killing any unwanted inhabitants (this also works well for stowaways and those kids who never know when the game of hide-and-seek is over).
We set up the fogger outside, against the directions on the label. But we had had success with foggers in the past (indoors), and we had faith in its ability to shoot directly inside the nest, and perhaps saturate the air in there.
My parents dragged the ladder, as I said, directly underneath the entrance to the nest. We found an unused flowerpot filled with soil (we hope nothing was growing there - it's dead now, anyways), and set it down gingerly on the top platform of the ladder. While I, jacketed and gloved, held the ladder steady, my dad, also re-armored, scaled our assault vehicle and, once at the top, planted the fogger firmly in the flowerpot, facing the top in the direction of the nest.
We all held our breaths, and my dad depressed the button on top. A short burst, and then nothing; a false start.
He did it again, this time holding it down for a few seconds, and suddenly a spray of gas shot straight at the entrance to the next. Holding his breath, my dad descended the ladder quickly, and we all retreated to a safe distance. The fogger, it seemed, was working. Although no bees were dropping like flies yet, it was aimed perfectly at the nest, and definitely getting its noxious fumes inside. But the fumes were also spreading out at least a few feet from the ladder. We all retreated inside and watched from a window, waiting and hoping for victory.
I'm starting to think we need an exit strategy.

Even More Updates

2006-05-20T13:53:00.000-05:00

Some things I forgot in the last post.

1. Set list from the concert:

Malaguena - Nirav, Luis
Bass Solo - Brandon
12-Bar Blues - Nirav, Luis, Brandon, Raphael, Mr. Peguero
.45 - Brandon, Zach
Pink Floyd Medley - Alex, Keenan, Camden
Stairway to Heaven - Keenan, Marcus
Iris - Brandon, Zach
So Cold - Brandon, Zach
Nothing Else Matters - Brandon, Zach, Nirav, Jake
Purple Haze - Brandon, Nirav
Eruption - Camden
Seek and Destroy - Luis, Raif, Ian, Marcus, Adam
For Whom the Bell Tolls - Luis, Raif, Ian, Marcus, Adam

2. Life is becoming increasingly hectic. I have something almost every day of the week, and any off time I get, I need to be packing for Germany and practicing my speech.

3. I'm in the market for a new electric guitar to bring with me to college. I can't stand a floating bridge anymore, like on Strats and Strat knock-offs; I think I want a light Ibanez.

4. I probably forgot some more things. Will post again soon.

Updates

2006-05-19T14:11:00.000-05:00

Wow - a whole lot of stuff has happened since my last update.

1. I wrote my speech. Then I had to rewrite it. Apparently, speaking for over a minute is way too much for graduation. I also had to cut out all personal references besides my family, and all specific references to club and organizations. That was the first rewrite. Then I had to add in a thank-you to administrators, and take out a reference to mercury spills. This is censorship.

2. Prom was, well, interesting. It was both boring and over too fast at the same time. About ten minutes before it was supposed to be over, the fire alarm rang. People came to my house afterwards and we watched Pirates of the Carribbean. Pictures are up on Facebook.

3. We got our caps and gowns at graduation practice.

4. The Guitar Club Concert rocked, plain and simple. This is one of the things I'm most proud of in high school. Pictures on Facebook soon.

5. I got a new laptop, which I am blogging from now. It's sexy. Sony Vaio VGN-SZ110.

Further updates as events warrant.

They misspelled my name in the Hightower newspaper. Nirav Shanghani. Sounds vaguely Japanese.

And events have come full circle, somewhat.

Bye!

I Give Up

2006-05-06T11:01:00.000-05:00

Ok. I get it. I give up.
Until Thanksgiving break.

On a lighter note, Michael Buble is a really good artist. Although people like Frank Sinatra are infinitely better, it's nice to see young artists respect their roots. It's despicable when people think that Ray Charles ripped off Kanye West.

Guitar club spring 2006 concert: Thursday, May 18, 2006. Times: 6:30 to around 8:00. If nothing else, it'll be interesting.

Gotta write my speech by Tuesday. Class of '06, here we go.

Talk to Me?

2006-05-04T21:50:00.000-05:00

Why don't people stay in touch anymore? Too many people have moved away from me that I love dearly, and this is only the beginning. What will happen when we all go to college? We'll all see each other in summer vacation, I guess, but how many friendships will drop off and wither away because we're just lazy? Perhaps that ones that are worth keeping will be kept; I trust that it will sort itself out.
But others...Norway, California, Ohio; everyone's moving away. And one specifically; why shut me out? I try to call, email, IM you, but I get barely a response. If you want me out of your life, then tell me so, and I promise, I'll stop bothering you. But don't just ignore me; the opposite of love isn't hate; it's indifference.
It's not fair.

Spectulations

2006-04-26T01:34:00.000-05:00

I was going for a walk the other day, around the gorgeous lake near my house, and I wondered why we do things. It seems to me that we do about 90% of what we do so that we can do something else. Allow me to clarify; we do homework to get good grades, which leads (presumably) to a good college, allowing us to get an education in order so that we can get a good job, letting us finally retire in peace. And that's how it is for a lot of things. Retirement is the final goal of 90% of our lives. But what's the rush, huh? A lot of us, myself included, rush to do everything. Everything is done in the least possible time, becuase we feel that after this is done, we can get something else done. Everything is done as a means to an end, not as its own reward. We rush through everything: meals, sleep, school, driving...soon it'll all be over, and we'll have (figuratively) dived into our coffins; the end of the race. If that's where the race ends, then I don't think I want to win; or at least, I'd rather not be first. I want to slow down, smell the proverbial roses, but more than that, I want to enjoy it. I want to have the journey be my reward, and not the final destination (although that can be nice too). It's time to slow down.

And by the way, it's gonna be Penn.

University of Pennsylvania, class of 2010.

But not yet.

Woo-Hoo

2006-04-18T14:27:00.000-05:00

That got kind of bloody there in the last post. And now, in other news...

College results:
Rejections - Harvard, Stanford, MIT
Waitlist - Yale
Acceptances - UT, Rice, Case Western Reserve, Penn

My choices right now are probably between Rice, Case, and Penn. We shall see how things go.

"Reverse" Discrimination

2006-03-18T21:39:00.000-06:00

I didn't get into MIT today. And not in the sense that I won't get in until I get my letter, but in the sense that I was rejected from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. To the small percentage of you who aren't laughing at me: it's fine, it wasn't my first choice anyways. But I am somewhat concerned about getting into the University of Pennsylvania now, which is, in fact, my first choice. No matter. It comes when it comes.
What I'm really writing about today is gender discrimination; or rather, so-called "reverse" gender discrimination. I didn't get into MIT, but my sister did. When my cousin applied to MIT, she got in. So did three other girls from her school. But only two guys got in from her school. Coincidence? Not really. I looked up admission statistics for MIT online: for the fall of 2003, the Boston-based university had 10,549 applicants, out of which 2,898, or 27%, were female. (I'm assuming the rest were male or undecided.) That year, MIT accepted 29.3% of its female applicants but only 11.6% of the males. What does that mean? The admits were comprised of 849 females and 887 males. In other words, they were 49% female and 51% male; a near even split. Obviously, the admissions committee was aiming to create a gender-distributed student body, and with the reputation that MIT has of a predominantly male-dominated university, who can blame them? In conclusion, it's significantly easier to get into MIT if you're a girl. The question is: is this ethical?
This particular can of worms dovetails nicely with the debate we had in government class about affirmative action last Friday; in essence, race/gender is playing a large role in admission to many universities. The ethics of the gender issue are very controversial (I'm not going to address race right now; maybe in another column).
On one hand, how can the integrity of the admissions procedure be compromised for something out of any individual student's control? Maintaining a gender balance at MIT means, essentially, that [edit 2 begins] the percentage of males that get in is less than the percentage of females, and this could potentially mean that a small amount of the females who get in wouldn't have done so if admissions were gender-blind [edit 2 ends]. Basically, this undermines one of America's key tenets: hard work and dedication will reward you proportionally to your effort. Work harder, make more money, right? Not anymore.
On the other hand, who wants a student body comprised of 70%, or even 80% males? The completely different viewpoint offered by females cannot be made up for by an extra 200 points on the SAT, or admitting a few more valedictorians. No, in order to be a modern, diverse university, institutions such as MIT have to keep their student bodies gender-balanced. It's no different than as little as fifty years ago, when the University of Pennsylvania (an Ivy League school), was actually two separate colleges: one for men, and one for women. Some schools restrict themselves to women only. How is this any different? It's not like MIT denies that they discriminate based on gender; the statistics speak for themselves. Finally, putting men into a predominantly male society in college will either leave them ill-prepared for the real world, or instill in them a bad sense of equality that will allow them to discriminate against women in later life.
Or maybe not. Ideally, of course, the same amount of women and men would apply to technically-based universities like MIT (the problem is much less pronounced at less-technical schools), but that surely isn't happening. In my rejection letter, I learned that about [edit 1 begins] 13% of the total applicant pool was accepted. That means that the percentage of men accepted can't be much, if any more than in the fall of 2003. [edit 1 ends] The problem, at least for now, isn't going away.
Just something to get y'all thinking.
[EDIT 1: The admit rate for the class of 2010 is actually 13%, and has been changed accordingly in the post. Sorry. Also, I was sent a blog post by an MIT admissions officer, and after reading it, I can honestly say it makes me feel a lot better about my rejection and the entire admissions process in general. Read it here.]
[EDIT 2: Several people have complained to me that the women at MIT are no less qualified than the men to be there. They also say that my post states that the women who get in are not as good as some men who don't. I think I was misunderstood; the two middle paragraphs of this post are meant to provide constrasting viewpoints on a contradictory issue. I'm not taking sides, these aren't necessarily my personal opinions, I'm just setting forth two perspectives. In any case, I changed the post to hopefully prevent further misunderstanding.]

State German Contest 2006

2006-02-26T21:39:00.000-06:00

One of the earliest posts in this blog - the second or third - was about something that happened at the State German Contest in 2004, two years ago. Here are the highlights from this year:

- Bleib!

- Blutbefleckt!

- Andrew and Kyle...in boxes...almost naked.

- Senior orgy!

- The VIP lounge on the bus.

- Erwin's *ahem* shows.

- Afterparty at Nirav's house!

- The entire club performed admirably in time of emergency.

- Kyle won first place in spelling.

- BLEIB!

- Armaggedon's messed-up physics.

- Hotshots: "I had a multioptomotepsry. But to avoid damaging the eye sockets, they had to go in through the rectum"

- "Wir sind Koby und Loby."

- "Kastriert und geblendet!"

- Tony's immense yell of anguish.

- Short ties!

- Aviator sunglasses.

- BLEIB!

- Leis.

- Straightened hair *grin*.

- Silverware in Frau's purse...and jacket.

- "Would you care for some condiments, Frau?"

- The company on the bus.

- Folkdancing!!!

- The badge that Jord@n got me.

And I think that's about it for my last year going to State. Two at Baylor, two at UT. It's been great, everyone.

Anniversary, Number Two

2006-02-12T01:54:00.000-06:00

It's been two years for this blog. Pretty amazing stuff, eh?

Stay tuned!

It Wasn't Easy

2006-02-12T01:50:00.000-06:00

WARNING: If you're sensitive or tactful, or something weird like that, then you might not want to read this. If you don't like me, this will probably just give you something else to dislike me about.

I'm sorry, but cheaters still piss me off. Yeah, it's no new development, but I was talking with a dear friend tonight and I just kind of realized it again. We were talking about how we'd have a huge problem being in a relationship with a cheater, and it even bothers her a bit to be friends with them.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not judging anybody. It seems that the cool thing to do these days is cover up your laziness/inadequacies/mistakes by demanding of anyone even remotely criticizing you if they're judging you, because of course, that would be horrible. No, no, I'm not judging anybody.
But I am judging what you're doing. And yeah, I'm valedictorian. So what? Does that make my opinions about this any less valid? More so, I'd think. I've been through all aspects of academia. I've been tempted to cheat, I've almost cheated, I even accidentally cheated once in seventh grade (but then I got the answer wrong on purpose because I felt guilty). Sure, write me off as self-righteous, elitist, or whatever you want. But you still know I'm right.
And don't give me that bullshit about how that's easy for me to say because I'm "smart". I'm no smarter than anyone else. I just worked my ass off to get where I am. Anything that I say, anything that I do, anything that I write, anything that sounds or looks smart that comes out of me has a ten year background of hard, hard work to it. No, it wasn't easy for me.
Or another argument was that if you cheat, you always get a few wrong on purpose so you don't screw over the guy who you're cheating off of. Nice work, figuring that one out. Now shut it, because you know it's complete bullshit. Any correct answers that you get that aren't your own are screwing somebody over. Your GPA and class rank don't care that the person in front of you let you copy his math homework. They'll overtake him anyways. Or maybe someone else. Maybe kick that person out of the top ten percent, and screw over her application to UT. There goes that plan.
I worked hard to get where I am. Even if you cheaters don't want to work, at least stop pretending like you aren't just lazy.

I actually wrote this post back on January 29th, but I'm just posting it now.

Sweet catharsis.

You Asked For It (Not Really)

2006-02-07T21:23:00.000-06:00

Yes, another quiz.

Here's to discovery, self or otherwise.

Have you ever...
1. Fallen for your neighbor? No, all my neighbors are weird.
2. Made out with just a friend? Never.
3. Been rejected? Actually, not yet. It's probably coming soon.
4. Been in love? Yes, as I define it, so don't all you skeptics bring out your guns.
5. Used someone? Yes, and I'm still sorry for that, Miss Palindrome.
6. Been used? Yes, and I'm still smarting over that, as pathetic as that is.
7. Been Kissed? Hell yeah.
8. Done something you regret? Of course. I just hope that I don't make the same mistake twice.

Who was the last person...
10. You talked to? My mom, who made me lemon-honey tea, which is amazing on a sore throat.
11. You hugged? My mom also, for the tea.
12. You instant messaged? Luis Diez, guitar guru.
13. You are missing? Most recently, my tussle buddy.
14. You called? Not sure, but the last person I talked to on the phone was my awesome sister, Priti.
15. You yelled at? A guy at our impromptu talent show at Houstonfest who played guitar. I believe the exact quote was "Have my babies!", preceded by my shirt being thrown at him.
16. You laughed with? My mom.
17. Who broke your heart? I'm not sure if my heart has been truly broken, but I guess the answer to the closest thing would be the person my acoustic guitar is named after.
18. Who told you they loved you? My mom.
19. Who complimented you? Tiwa!

20. Have a Birthmark? Not that I know of.
21. Have any piercings? Nope. Keep those needles AWAY from me, please.
23. Own your own house? I WISH.
24. Own a nice car? I wish EVEN MORE. Although my dad drives a BMW that I get to use every so often.
25. Speak any languages other than english? Definitely
26. Cook your own Dinner? Damn straight!
27. color your hair? Yes, blue-green over the summer. It was good.
28. Have green eyes? I'm Indian.
29. Stolen anything? Sticky notes from a classroom in Passports to use to cover up used questions in German Jeopardy...does that count?
30. Smoked? Hell no.
31. Taken drugs? Medication, yes. Anything else, no. Except I sniffed a permanent marker once by accident. Dunno if that counts.
32. Obsessive? Perfectionist, if that's the same thing.
33. Shot a gun? Not a real one.
34. Done something illegal? Not TOO illegal.
35. Panic? Not too much.
36. Anxiety? See above.
37. Depressed? See above, again.
38. Control Freak? Definitely.
39. Obsessed with hate? Definitely not. What the world needs now...

Questions
40. If you were a cartoon character, what would you be like? Hugh Downs. "Hugh Downs awayyy!!!"
41. If you could be anywhere, where would it be and with who? A bit too broad, but at the moment, it would probably involve one of two cities in California, either Palo Alto or San Diego.
42. Can you do anything freakish with your body? I can bend my thumbs behind my hands. Yes, very impressive, I know.
43. What feature do you find most attractive on girls/guys? Hair, eyes, and smile.
44. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president? Perhaps.
45. Would you marry for money? Nope, I think I'll be okay in that respect.
46. Have you had braces? Yes. Don't remind me.
47. Do you wear lip gloss? Vaseline.
48. Do you sing in the shower? Of course!
49. Do you play any sports? Look at me. Just look at me. That aside, I used to play basketball.
50. Could you live without a computer? What's a computer? Try the exact opposite of that question.
51. Do you use AOL, MSN, Yahoo? AIM, Yahoo, and MSN, but I only have buddies on AIM.
52. If so, how many people are on your list? 247
53. If you could live in any past, where would it be? Sometime in the heyday of the blues.
54. Do you wear white socks? White and grey.
55. Do you wear shoes? No, I wear cantaloupes.
56. What is your favorite fruit? Oranges. I can eat them forever.
57. Do you eat wheat bread or white? Wheat is better. No offense.
58. What is your favorite place to visit? I haven't been there yet.
59. Fav DVD? The Matrix, probably. I'm not sure. I like too many movies.
60. Do you kiss on the first date? Haven't yet.
61. Are you photogenic? Some say yes, I say hell no.
62. Do you dream in color or black and white? Definitely color.
63. What are you wearing right now? Jeans, a t-shirt, an open shirt over that.
64. Do you eat a lot of fruit? Yep.
65. Do you have dimples? No...I can only wish.
66. Do you remember being born? Yes. Wouldn't you like to know what it was like.
67. Why do you take surveys? Self-discovery, baby!
68. Do you drink alcohol? Nope. I've had rum cake and rum chocolate, though.
69. Do you like high school? Yes and no.
70. What is the best accent? Australian!
71. Who do you want to kiss? I don't know how she kisses, so I'm not sure.
72. Do you like sunsets? Yes.
73. Do you want to live to be 100? Longer.
74. If not, why? Why not?
75. Do you or have you played with a ouija board? Not yet.
76. Are you loyal? Very. Although the meaning of being "loyal", apparently, is somewhat frayed as of late.
77. Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs? I try to be.
78. Is music your life? Not yet, but it's a large percentage.
79. Do you like scary movies? The corny ones...cry_wolf, anyone? The Fog, anyone?
80. Do you think you can draw well? Yes, if by well you mean horribly.
81. At what age did you find out that Santa Clause wasn't real? Man, I don't think I ever believed in St. Nick.
82. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet? 4
83. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday? Yeah.
84. Do you write poetry? No. I attempt to songwrite, but that's a different post.
85. Snore? Horribly loudly, apparently.
86. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides? 360 degrees.
87. Do you like Cats/Dogs? Adore them.
88. Do you lick stamps? Yep.
89. Do you use an electric can opener? No...man, those things are confusing.
90. Have you ridden in a hot air balloon? Not yet.
91. Like your name? Mostly.
92. Were you named after anyone? Nope. It means quiet, though.
93. Do you wish on stars? Occasionally.
94. Which finger is your favorite? Ring finger on my left hand. Gotta love those blues.
95. When did you last cry? My eyes watered from being sick today. I dunno if that counts.
96. What is your favorite band? Matchbox 20.

97. Who do you admire? As a musician, John Mayer. As a person, Denise Tanner. As a parent, my own parents. As a friend, my sister. I could go on for a while.
98. What is the #1 priority in your life? Fulfillment.
99. What is your favorite day of the week? Friday.

Woo hoo!

A Tiring Weekend

2006-01-22T22:22:00.000-06:00

So, I had a very interesting and fun weekend, when you include Friday. Well, it was fine even without Friday, but Friday was notable, so I'll mention it anyways.

Friday
Went to school, as usual. First period, Physics II, where I presented my science fair project, and then sat around for a few others to do the same. In the middle of Pranay's presentation, of course, the mercury "spill" went down, and we all grabbed our stuff and evacated to the stadium, where our class went to the top of the bleachers and got to the balcony that looks out over the school. That was, apparently, too fun for a mercury spill, so we were told to find seats. That we did, near Mr. Ruggles.
After hanging out there for a while, we were all moved inside the fieldhouse in a wonderfully orchestrated migration that tried to pack about twenty kids at a time into a doorway that fit approximately two. < /sarcasm >. Having overcome our door issues by the tried-and-true method of mass chaos, we (all 2500 of us) were now all arranged extremely comfortably in the fieldhouse. < /sarcasm (really, this time) >. One fight broke out, at least. Another "fight" broke out, but it was actually two kids faking it, just so they could take pictures of the cops coming to break them up. Finally, we were taken back inside the school to our first period classes (those in the "contaminated" classes were put in the auditorium).
Us internship kids were released at a little after one, I believe, so Alonso, Frazier, Jon, Luis, and I went to Wendy's and decided to skip internship, as we wouldn't get there in time to get anything done anyways. We hung out there for about an hour or so, chatted about the original Mario game on NES (yes, we're nerds, but cool nerds), then disbanded. I drove Luis home and noodled around on guitar at his place for another hour, then left to go to Stammtisch at CiCi's (the new one near Laser Zone).
Stammtisch was hilariously fun, made even more so by Lesley and her faces. Lesley is an honorary member of German Club, in case anyone was wondering. Lesley, your faces are hilarious. After Stammtisch, I decided to go to Agattanz practice (folkdancing) at Jordan's house in case I was needed. I wasn't, really, but Amanda Comer and I hung and I played guitar for something around two hours while they practiced, and eventually I ended up helping them with the directions and coordination.
I dropped Amanda home at around eight, I think, and then came back to Jordan's house, hoping that someone else wanted to watch a movie too, or hang out somewhere. Turns out, everyone who was still there wanted to (Ana, Tessa, Edward, Joann, and Jordan) but Joann had to go home, and Jordan was going out of town the next morning, so neither of them could. This meant that we couldn't stay at Jordan's house either.
Thus, my house was volunteered, and we mobilized our caravan to get there. I took Ana, stopping by at work (Piccomolo Italian Ice Cream on Highway 6, near Half-Price Books and Corelli's) to get Ana some gelato. Having done that, we got to my house. Tessa and Edward had dropped off Joann and gotten Wendy's, and got there a little after we did. Ana and I had already narrowed down the movie options, and we ended up watching National Treasure and then Hidalgo. Finally, we wound down the night by watching an episode of Family Guy and another of Futurama.
It was at some point during Hidalgo that we realized that we were all tired and no one wanted to leave my house, so I crept into my parents' room and halfway woke my mom to ask her if they could spend the night here. I got a surprising assent, so after going to sleep at around four, we woke at seven and they left.

Saturday
I, naturally, went back to sleep until twelve-thirty, when I woke up and ate something. Didn't do much of anything all of that day except try not to play guitar. I had spent Wednesday and Thursday night staying up until around one or two in the morning playing guitar (on my acoustic), and then on Friday I played for something around four hours, also mostly on acoustics, so my fingers were completely shot. Not playing on Saturday was hard, but every time I picked up Kay (my acoustic) my fingers started to burn a bit again, so I had to stop to let them heal.
Surprisingly, I did my physics homework on Saturday night, and I also got a haircut at some point in the afternoon.
At night, my mom and I went and got Lord of War from Hollywood Video, which wasn't too great. At least, as a movie about a gunrunning Ukranian it wasn't too great, but as a movie timelining the evolution of the illegal arms trade from the post-World War II years to present, it's very good. So basically, you just have to know know what you're in for.
I went to sleep early (around eleven or twelve) because the next morning I had work from eleven to three.

Sunday
I worked today, for the first time since Thursday, and we had gotten some new flavors, like watermelon, cappuccino, pina colada, and venetian something-or-other. Oh, and something called Yoggi, which tastes just like yogurt, but with gelato texture and consistency. It's um...interesting. I also had several cappuccino/cafe latte escapades; let's just say I'm not quite finished learning how to make drinks.
Lara showed up, and bought a couple cups of gelato, and we chatted at the end of my shift, because no one was there. Afterwards, I got my forty-five cents in tips (pathetic...usually it's about three to six dollars per shift, but it was a cold, rainy morning, and no one really wanted ice cream) and we hung around for a little longer. Finally, we left but I was hungry, so we went to Chipotle's, and I got the vegetarian tacos, which were superb, by the way. Lara had chips, lemon, salsa, and salt. So, so weird. We were both going to Span and Benita's surprise party, so Lara took me by my house and I dropped off my remaining two-thirds of a taco and my work t-shirt and cap, we returned Lord of War, and then she took me back to Piccomolo so I could pick up my van.
It was pouring rain by now, and we ferried our way to the Incredible Pizza Company, which is an incredible misnomer. First of all, you have to leave your car keys with them if you don't want to eat, and secondly, the buffet is horribly overpriced and pretty disgusting. The arcade games are all old, there are no shooting or fighting games, and they're all expensive. So it wasn't Incredible and the Pizza wasn't great. The only thing the place had going for it was the Company, which was Lesley, Lara, Span, Nick, Chris (Nick's mini-me), Nita, Suchi, Sneh, Christina, and Ben, and even that was somewhat tarnished by the weird 50's high school theme that some idiot managing the restaurant decided on. Definitely not Incredible. Maybe it would work as the Mediocre Pizza Company, but even that's almost pushing it.
After the surprise party (to which Benita didn't show up to, by the way), I drove Lesley home. Here I must interject and write a few lines about Lesley, for she is one of the most hilariously awesome people I know. Her faces and expressions are priceless, and she always always always can laugh at herself. She's a good talker and a good listener, and she's on time with her payments (gas money, you pervert).
Anyways, drove Lesley home (stopping by for gelato on the way, making this the third girl in as many days I had met at or walked into work with), and then got back to my house before eight. Some family friends were over, so we all chatted over dinner before they finally left.
After that, all that I did was noodle on my electric for a little while (I tried messing with the distance of the pickups from the strings and realized that the cover on the brige pickup is loose), and ate a little bit.

It is now a little past eleven on Sunday night; time to start the new week. Gehen wir schon!

Take It Away...

2006-01-17T01:05:00.000-06:00

No longer a minor, so that makes me a...major? I'm not sure. But in any case, I am now officially eighteen years of age, which makes me able to have a license that goes up and down instead of side to side. That's really about it. Actually, I'm not even sure that they give the vertical ones to you until you're twenty-one now. So that's gone too. What's left, then? The rest of my life. One AM and I'm still awake writing a blog post. Almost pathetic, but not really; I'm in an introspective mood. Nothing better than writing half to yourself, half to the world to get those inner tangles out there. Whatever that means.
It only hit me a little after midnight on Sunday that graduation is this year. This year! A few months, even! And then...college, said Luis. College, indeed. Philadelphia or Houston or Boston. Pennsylvania or Texas or Massachusetts. I don't even know what state I'll be in, much less what I'll be doing. Where did the time go? I've had the time of my life, sure, but it was a fast ride, it seems. I think the biggest reason it doesn't only feel like it was a couple of weeks ago that I was a freshman is the radical changes that I underwent during junior year. Besides that, I still remember walking into my advisory class first thing on the first day of school. I still remember that Ronnie Sherwood was in that class. Of all the things to remember.
It's strange to look too closely at anything now. There's always been a purpose, before. But now? Where's the purpose? Grades matter naught, or at least not much. College applications are in the hands of a higher being now (admissions officials, of course; what, did you think I was going to delve into the intelligent design debate?). Most things that we do now are for our own benefit.
I got a job. Got my first paycheck last Friday. I've been telling everyone that, believe it or not, I finally got off my lazy ass and started to actually do some work. But you know, I've been working for the past three years. It just paid really, really, really crappy. I've got free time now, though, so I figured, might as well serve gelato. Strangely enough, I posted more on my blog last year, when I had less free time, than this year. I guess that means that someone else should post on this blog too, every now and then, perhaps? Give me a little company?
The dawning of the rest of our lives, eh? That sounds about right. How quickly things change, though, you know? One day you're planning a trip to Italy that climaxes in an engagement with someone, the next day you're ranting through tears on a hotel balcony at her. We'll always have Italy, sure, but it's locked away now, to be seen gathering dust in a glass cabinet. Nostalgia in a box, for that eventual trip down memory lane, picking up fond recollections in turn, examining them, and replacing them carefully in their late-night AIM conversation cases. I guess it's true about the best-laid plans. Although I never did quite get how the mice were involved, but I suppose a little mystery keeps thing spicy.
Coffee stains splattered over equations for the length of a guitar string, that's what's on the desk in front of me. That's how today has been. Guitar, food, AIM, phone, science fair. O Unholy Tormentor, Science Fair! Or so it seems, at least. Still have to finish that. I have all the data, I just don't know what to do with it. Sounds a bit like life. Sounds a lot like love, actually. Watch someone pop out of nowhere and make fun of me for using the word "data" in an analogy. Such a nerd, I am. That's a compliment from a certain someone in San Diego, though. Or at least, it used to be. I don't know half of my friends half as well as I should like. On the plus side, I've gone through these last three and a half years with only truly hating one person in the long run. But I think hating is so counterproductive, you know? The only influence hating can have is if you have a way to screw over the person you hate, and I haven't had that, so I've just spend a couple years nursing a general strong dislike for him. Oh well; can't love everyone.
Speaking of which, we all need to loosen up about using the word love. Or Love, or whatever. I understand that some people feel that they don't know what love is, but seriously, I believe love is what you feel it is. Everyone defines everything differently; I define love as what you feel when you feel like saying "I love you". What else is there? To stop yourself from saying that is denying a puppy to a little boy. People say love is cliched. I say that saying it's cliched is cliched. Love is like a sofa, and keeping yourself from capitalizing the word is like putting plastic on the sofa, so your family can't actually sit on it. Who the hell are you waiting for, anyways? The president? "Oh, Mr. President, we were saving these couches just for you. Here, let me take the plastic off." Right. Use them. Use love.
The rain outside patters softly on the lamplit street. I'm not even kidding. It's picturesque, really. It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely...wonderful song, that one. Slow dancing would be nice, outside. I think I'll drift off to sleep with that image in my head.
The night is young, the skies are clear, so if you want to go walking, dear...

Brief Rundown

2006-01-02T22:21:00.000-06:00

Here's a brief summary of my winter break, before I forget:

Wednesday, December 21, 2005:
Got up early, flew to Maryland, where we were picked up at the airport by my uncle, who drove us to my aunt's house. Met my aunt, my cousin, and my grandmother for the first time in several months.

Thursday:
Got up early again, took a Greyhound bus to the Port Authority bus station (it's huge) in Manhattan. Saw my sister for the first time since Thanksgiving (she had been in NYC for a couple days before us). We then saw the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA), which was semi-interesting. Finally, we saw Rockerfeller Plaza and the giant Christmas tree there. We also ate pizza there at a place called Two Boots Pizza. We spent the night in the Comfort Inn less than a block from Times Square. The MTA strike ended that evening.

Friday:
My family and I took a semi-circle cruise tour around the island of Manhattan. We saw the Statue of Liberty, Ground Zero, the U.N. building, etc. We then saw the U.S.S. Intrepid, an old WWII aircraft carrier converted into a museum. After that, we lunched with an old friend whom my mom and aunt knew from back when they lived in NYC named Om. He's about fifty-ish and very zen. He's also the owner of the corporate side of the business of Tracy Reese, a fashion designer. Her clothes run about $500 and usually sell in places like Neiman Marcus. We got to meet her and see her office and design floor.

Saturday, December 24, 2005:
Went to the Guggenheim Museum, trekked through Central Park, went shopping, bought all of our touristy stuff, met with relatives: Amit, Monica and their families, and hung out in Rockerfeller Plaza again.

Sunday, Christmas Day:
Saw the U.N. building, rode the bus around, took a Greyhound bus back to Maryland, saw my other cousin, exchanged presents with family that evening after dinner.

Monday:
Saw Tyson's Corner, an immense mall.

Tuesday:
Visited the Capitol.

Wednesday:
Visited Philadelphia and the University of Pennsylvania (which was awesome).

Thursday:
Didn't do anything.

Friday:
Went snowtubing

Saturday, New Year's Eve:
Went to the boardwalk, and went shopping.

Sunday, January 1, 2006:
Flew back to Houston, went to German Club thing at Ana's house where we set off fireworks.

Monday, January 2, 2006:
Lesley's cotillion practice, and slept.

Sorry the last half was really brief; I don't really feel like elaborating.

WTF.

2005-12-30T22:43:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I'm ashamed to be Indian. The focus is on racism in America, against African-Americans, but there's so much racism by Indians against Muslims, it's disgusting. I was just asked this from someone, referring to a brown person: "Is she Indian or Muslim? Because you should never associate with Muslims, you know."
How does this help ANYTHING? Then they went on to speak of the Muslim community as though it were at colony of insects that had to be exterminated. Where does this take us? Blindly hating a specific ideology and culture? Sound familiar? That's a characteristic we attribute to our ENEMIES.
W. T. F.

Philadelphia Fun

2005-12-29T20:17:00.000-06:00

So yesterday, my family and I visited Philadelphia and the University of Pennsylvania, which is where I hope to go to college. It's amazing. Maybe it was just our good luck, but the weather was great, and the city was gorgeous. Then we walked through the campus, which is just far enough away to not be smack in the middle of Philadelphia, but close enough to be able to take a quick subway ride in. It's got a one-of-a-kind charm that I haven't seen in any other college I've visited. I can't wait.

Manhattan Mix #2

2005-12-25T23:03:00.000-06:00

Thursday morning found me taking a shower at my aunt's house, with whom we're staying in Maryland for now (this was before we went to NYC; we're back now in Maryland).
Suddenly, without warning, the shower curtain attacked me. Billowing inwards, it nearly hit the far wall of the shower before I counterattacked. After a short scuffle, I managed to hold the curtain back with one hand, while applying shampoo and soap with the other. That was the highlight of that morning (the day we took the Greyhound bus to NYC).
Continuing the theme of the previous post, here's another food story from Manhattan. My family and I went to a restaurant just off Times Square, across from our Comfort Inn, called John's Shanghai. It was, apparently, highly recommended. The food was actually quite good until a cockroach dropped by to visit. It crawled along the wall towards my sister, who, with a mouthful of food, recoiled and grabbed my dad for help, all in mime. The four of us vacated the table pretty fast, staring at the roach. It was relatively big, even for Houstonions. The Indian people at the next table started making hilarious comments, like "I wonder what's in the Chicken Surprise?" and "So that's why it's called the SPECIAL fried rice." Corny, yes. Funny, yes. After catching our guest, the waiter, without asking, took away all of our food. That would have been okay in itself, but instead of offering us new food, he "graciously" only charged us half. Luckily, before the four indignant Indians (that would be us) could make a scene, the manager dismissed the bill. We left the restaurant and our appetites behind.
Lots more stories en route; I'll post in the upcoming days.

Manhattan Mix #1

2005-12-25T06:33:00.000-06:00

So the last three days have been a whirlwind of sightseeing, subway and bus rides, sidewalk restaurants, walking, walking, walking, and cappuccinos. It's been awesome. NYC is a one-of-a-kind place. Funny story: Yesterday, my family and I met with some relatives near Rockefeller Center, which is where the NYC Christmas tree is. Needless to say, that place was insanely crowded. INSANELY crowded. Thus, we all went down a side street and instead, met at a place called Burger Heaven, which looked fine at first sight. It was even a notch or two above fast food. So we all went in and met up there, and maybe the problems started when we had about fifteen Indians in a restaurant, with only about three of us actually eating. The waitress was inexplicably pissed at us. Verbatim conversation:

My Sister: "We're vegetarian, by the way."
My Dad: "No meat at all, please."
Me: "If we order anything non-vegetarian, could you tell us, please?"
My Sister: "Can you make vegetarian chili?"
Waitress: "Yes, yes."
My Sister: "We'll have the chili, then."
Waitress: "You want that with meat or vegetarian?"

And folks, she was serious, too. Next, she left both the bread and the cheese off a sandwich because we didn't explicitly specify that we wanted the mixed vegetables melt sandwich with bread and cheese.
The food sucked, too. Also, we think she was drunk.
Anyways, more stories to come later!

Christmas Eve In Manhatten

2005-12-24T09:20:00.000-06:00

Hi everybody! It's me again, reporting (semi) live from just a couple blocks away from Times Square, New York City. My family and I have toured the entire city in the past couple of days, but we're not done yet. Unfortunately, the snow melted only a few days before we got here, but that's okay; we appreciate the warmth, or we'd probably freeze. This city is amazing. It's got good points and bad points, but the entire package is just incredible. So many people in such a small space...it's overwhelming. Well, we're off again, so everyone have a wonderful Christmas (winter...whatever) Eve!

NYC

2005-12-20T23:43:00.000-06:00

In Maryland and New York City, among other places, over the winter break. Drop me a line!

John Mayer

2005-12-18T01:21:00.000-06:00

There are some artists whose music you like. And then there are others whom you respect. I think John Mayer is one of those whom I respect, and not just because he writes his own music. I've read a couple interview by him, and he is a true guitarist. When he plays you can tell he's completely into the music, not playing for anyone but himself.

"For all the complaining about the state of affairs in the music industry, I really feel like there's been a corner turned - a crucial one - and though you can't see it on MTV or VH1 yet, it's taking place where it first has to - among people in their bedrooms, garages, etc... there is a whole new culture of guitar players coming up. And NOTHING in my life has moved me like this. To look around and see 18, 20, 24 year old guys with guitars, taking the same pride and consideration in what they're doing as I always have. It's a deep thing."
-John Mayer

Awesome.

Get Up Or Get Down?

2005-12-09T12:33:00.000-06:00

This article is HILARIOUS:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29205

Web Design

2005-12-06T13:49:00.000-06:00

If you or anyone you know needs a website built and/or maintained, either go to www.blakegilson.com or leave a comment here. Blake and I make professional-quality websites for a lot less than major web developers. We'd be grateful for the business!
Thanks.

The Price of Oil

2005-12-04T20:37:00.000-06:00

I'm watching an A&E special on the movie Syriana.
What IS the price of oil? What are we willing to let our leaders do to keep our vast supply of oil (25% of the world's usage is in the United States) flowing from the Middle East straight to our cars and shampoos and power outlets? Do we even want to know what they do? Or what they've done?
Every action, every action, by the United States in the Middle East is motivated by oil. On this special, former CIA agents talk about how there's absolutely no interest for the U.S. there if not for oil. None. How can our leaders justify thousands of United States soldiers dying in Iraq then? They said it wasn't for oil. They said it was for weapons. No weapons? They said it was for civil rights abuses. I'm all for civil rights, but there are millions of other people who are being oppressed much worse than the situation in Iraq. Dictators in Africa commit genocide; do we invade? North Korea started a nuclear weapons program; do we invade? No. Because the greatest foreign policy motivator for the United States is oil. Another CIA agent talked about how there was NO intelligence on Saudi Arabia from the mid-eighties into the mid-nineties. None at all. Why? Because we didn't want to jeopardize our oil interests there. It's shocking when you think about it.
What are the motivations of suicide bombers, of terrorists? Why are we scared of asking that question? It's dangerous, to even think about looking at anything from their point of view, but understanding them is the first step to stopping the death and destruction that is a result of their efforts. No one can condone what they do, but they do have reasons beyond fundamentalism. Religion may pay a part, but what else? There's more. There's so much more. Bin Laden has talked about appropriate prices for oil: $100/barrel is his target price. Does anyone know that?
Watch Syriana. Don't stop there. Think about it.
If anyone wants to watch the A&E program, I taped it; just ask me.

Shot in the Foot

2005-12-04T18:56:00.000-06:00

Today my mom pointed out a newspaper article (Houston Chronicle. 12/4/2005. "Mall blocks chess players".) to me. Apparently, in Irondequoit, New York, the new owners of the Medley Center suburban Rochester mall have banned chess and card games from their food court. The reason? They don't buy anything. One of the owners, Adam Bersin, said, "It's kind of tough for [vendors] to see 15 guys sitting around in the food court eating food they brought in from outside."
Do these new owners have ANY business experience? Granted, it's tough on the vendors, but maybe that means they need to make their food better or cheaper. There are two parts to selling something, especially food: the first is to get the person there, the second is to get them to buy something. Having the mall's food court as a hangout for card and chess players accomplishes the first part FOR them; all they have to do now is make themselves more attractive to the chess players. Maybe have someone go around and sell drinks/snacks to the gamers or something. There are a million ways that they could make the mall chess and card friendly, and they chose the one option that will not only loose them potential customers, but give them a negative image as well. It's a MALL, by God. Having people hang out there is the best act for publicity and business that they can have.
In the words of Stewie: "What the deuce?"

Sunny, With A Chance of Weather

2005-11-12T09:28:00.000-06:00

The picture above is, according to Google, the weather forecast for today. Now what exactly does that mean? I see a sun, a cloud, a lightning bolt, and some rain. If you ask me, that covers about everything that could possibly happen. What are we supposed to expect??

streamofconsciousness

2005-11-08T00:27:00.000-06:00

I made this for my profile on facebook, and ended up kinda liking it. Every capitalized word is the end of the phrase before it and the beginning of the phrase after it. See if you can catch the symbolism.

Facebook is the world up HERE is the beginning of 1 end of THE ROAD travels on and on, sweeps us away to its faraway ENDings, beginnings, what's the DIFFERENCE between people mean different VIEWPOINTS from space, earth is a jewel on the silky neck of the UNIVERSE of joy, harmony, truth, LOVE is BEAUTIFUL is 2 AM at my doorstep in a loose t-shirt and SWEATS off the stress of today, he does, because tomorrow is sure to be WORSE bad better BEST be CAREFUL is the GLUEstick ain't gonna cut it anyMORE is what we look for, more is what we CRAVEings at 3 AM for pancakes and SYRUPy world that is dripping down around us, slipping and sliding through the cracks in SOCIETY is the difference between what should be done and what can't be DONE with this.

Poker...Again

2005-11-04T23:47:00.000-06:00

I think I'm ready to play another hand. Only problem is, all the tables that look interesting are either full or not playing right now. Stupid casino.

Oz

2005-10-11T23:56:00.000-05:00

I can sense the beginning of the end of the yellow brick road. We've got one last leg to go on, and then we're set loose in the Emerald City, with no direction and no guidance. We continue in the last direction we were headed in, but who knows if that's the right one? Which dark alleyway will be in your path, which concrete wall will block it? The signs are covered, yet everyone else seems to have a purpose. Where is our purpose? Where can we find it or buy it or beg, borrow, steal it? The wizard sits behind his curtain, making the calls, calling the shots. Do we listen? Do we pull down the fabric and strike out on our own? Or will we, years later, realize that we should have bought into it after all? And what of these green-tinted glasses? The spectacles that keep us from seeing the reds? Are those hues worth seeing? Will they show us our reason? Can we put the shades back on once they're taken from our heads? The questions, they're endless, they're difficult, they're many. Where can we put this uncertain load? What do we do past the yellow brick road?

Coincidence?

2005-10-08T23:51:00.000-05:00

Tsunami, Katrina, Rita, earthquake in Asia, mudslide in Guatemala and the avian flu in the wings. What's going on here? Were there always this many natural disasters one after the other? I don't have a theory or anything; just wanted to point that out. Anyone got an explanation?

The Rita Journal - Index

2005-09-24T21:05:00.000-05:00

A journal of the preparations for and results of hurricane Rita.

Day 1 - Wednesday: 21 September 2005

Day 2 - Thursday: 22 September 2005
Pictures

Day 3 - Friday: 23 September 2005
Part II
Pictures
Part III

Day 4 - Saturday: 24 September 2005.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blogging.

The Rita Journal - Day 4

2005-09-24T09:54:00.000-05:00

Saturday: 24 September 2005

9:57 AM. The worst of Rita has passed, and to tell the truth, we got very lucky. There's still the occasional shower or gust of wind, but for the most part it's over, and we never lost power or water once. I would almost say it's disappointing, but then I remember that it was so, so much worse for people further up north near Beaumont and then I'm just glad that they took the hit for us. The extent of damage is still to be seen, but I think the main impact of Rita is over.
Worst date I had in my life.

9:04 PM. Didn't do too much today. My dad and I got rid of our large stockpiles of water by watering all the plants. Everything's closed, so me, Span, Pranay, and Christina got together and watched The Bourne Identity and The Bourne Supremacy at Pranay's house. Good cookies.
Everything's pretty much done now. All that's left is to put everything away, get back into normal life, and pray for and help out the people who are still picking up, cleaning up, and rebuilding.
Thanks for reading, everyone. Good-night.

The Rita Journal - Day 3, Part III

2005-09-23T19:19:00.000-05:00

Friday: 23 September 2005

7:25 PM. There is an absolutely amazing nearly full-circle rainbow in the sky to the east.

I've never seen the world look the way it does outside. Everything is orange, like the sun dissolved and spread all across the sky and clouds. Or at least it was, a little while ago. In the space of about a minute the light disappeared. It's dark on the coast of Texas. My family and I are off to a neighbor's house to eat dinner.

9:49 PM. Winds are, according to Channel 11, at 30 mph and gusting to 40 mph. I think we may be getting a little break here in Sugar Land from the worst impacts of Rita. The bands of wind and rain weaken as they move over land and through Houston to get to us. That's not to say that nothing's going to happen. Sienna Plantation, a little bit further south in Missouri City, lost power already. I don't know how much longer I'll have power or internet, so I'll go ahead and make this my last post of the night. Tomorrow morning I'll probably post or audioblog. Good luck, everyone, and stay safe.

The Rita Journal - Day 3, Pictures

2005-09-23T18:06:00.000-05:00

Friday: 23 September 2005

I got the camera from my dad, and took a couple pictures.

This is my street as of 6:10 PM today. Note the encroaching clouds.

This is my adorable smaller dog Shellie. She's a bit bummed because of all of our worrying.

This is the light fixture that my dad and I dismantled.

The Rita Journal - Day 3, Part II

2005-09-23T16:39:00.000-05:00

Friday: 23 September 2005

4:42 PM. It's only a quarter before five and already it's darkening outside. My dad and I just finished dismantling the hanging lantern on our front porch. At first we were going to just tie it up to the roof of the porch, but then we noticed screws, and in a short time were involved in a delicate operation trying to hold together about twenty parts with four hands as we took it apart, hoping not to drop any of the glass panes. I would take a picture of it now, but the camera's out of batteries. Maybe I'll put one up later.
We had a minor mishap involving an overflowing bathtub. My dad (who left it on by accident) is claiming (in jest) that we're practicing for the hurricane by cleaning it all up.
My parents and I went around our cul-de-sac, taking down basketball hoops and putting newspapers in a better place than the middle of the yard. It's getting really windy outside; in about a couple hours it probably won't be very safe to be outside anymore. I wonder when the rain will come.

5:36 PM. We've received two invitations to peoples' houses in the neighborhood for dinner, cards, or just plain hanging out. I think the human need for society is manifesting itself, and with the brunt of darling Rita just twelve hours away, we all want to be around other people, maybe to offset the isolation that will come soon thereafter until the storm passes. To make jokes at which everyone laughs a bit too hard, to maintain a semblance of social life that's a bit strained, just to be around others; those needs are right up there with the essentials of food, water, and shelter.
We've packed clothes and necessities in case of evacuation, but that doesn't look too likely right now. The predicted winds are now around 50 to 70 mph at our house; I think we'll be all right in that weather.
My dad just finished going around the house taking pictures of every room, for reference after she passes. After he's sure he's done, I'm going to appropriate the camera and take a few pictures myself. Also, I'm going to set up audioblogging on here in case the power or internet go out. The winds have picked up outside. It's time to finish everything up and sit tight. After we come back from dinner, that is.

6:00 PM. It just showered outside, for about thirty seconds. Audioblgging is set up. Pictures are forthcoming.

The Rita Journal - Day 3, Part I

2005-09-23T10:26:00.000-05:00

Friday: 23 September 2005

Hurricane Rita is supposed to make landfall at midnight tonight.

10:34 AM. Sitting here at the laptop in my kitchen, listening to The Eagles, filling up a container with water, and eating a bagel. The drinking water pressure is dropping alarmingly fast. It seems like it slows to a trickle after only a couple of minutes. The mayor of Houston seems to be making statements every few hours; there was one this morning at 5. I woke up at around 9 to find my dad on the couch watching TV. At this point, everything on the news is bad news. Apparently, we're on the west side of Rita and thus have somewhat weaker winds coming from the northeast: about 70 to 90 mph. I still can't get over the fact that Rita is bigger than most states.
A bus carrying senior citizens overheated and exploded right before Dallas. Twenty-four people died. I can't even think of what that must be like for the survivors and family of that bus.
Today we're going to finish filling up water, water, and more water, and then finish packing up emergency evacuation stuff, in case we have to get out in a hurry for some reason. The van still has a full tank of gas, thank God, so we're better off than most. Maerilly and her family left for Birney, TX at midnight Wednesday and arrived at 2 PM yesterday. Jordan got to New Braunfels yesterday, after 20 hours in their huge van. Luckily, they made it with one tank of gas. Luis and his family ended up not leaving at all due to too much traffic and not enough gas. Same with Lara. That seems to be happening to a lot of people.
Today will be a last flurry of working, and then? Then it's just a waiting game.

11:42 AM. It's getting a bit windy outside.

12:26 PM. Just learned that school is closed on Monday.

2:27 PM. A little over half the people on our street are still here, but you wouldn't know it by looking outside. It's like a ghost street; people go outside very rarely, as if they're afraid the hurricane will suddenly jump out and ambush them. The air, previously so still, is constantly moving now. In the silence on our street, the rustling of trees is significantly loud now; symbolically the sound of destiny, if this was an analysis for English class. The friend whose house we boarded up for five hours decided that if, after all that work, the boards didn't hold up, he'd have to create a commission to find out what happened and hopefully try and blame it on Bush.

3:08 PM. Speaking of Bush, he said in a statement that, and I quote, there is no risk of him getting in the way. Well if even HE agrees that it's a risk...just kidding. Rita is now a category 3 with 125 mph winds, which are really being felt here now. Trees are swaying quite a bit, and my mom thinks that she felt a couple raindrops. The sky, so clear just yesterday, is now overcast, and the clouds are darkening steadily. It would seem that Rita is nodding at us from the Gulf.
We are preparing our pantry to be occupied in case the winds and/or flooding get really bad. Of course, we've got food in there, but we also have to keep our two dogs in there with the three of us.
Rita just breached a recently patched-up levee in New Orleans. I kind of hope that she will indeed swerve to hit New Orleans again; there's almost no one there now.
The weather is getting slightly apocalyptic in its worsening.

The Rita Journal - Day 2, Pictures

2005-09-22T14:20:00.000-05:00

Thursday: 22 September 2005

6:55 PM. I just got back from helping some family friends down the street board up their windows. I brought my camera, so here are pictures:

This is my house as of 2:30 PM today, as seen from the middle of my street.

I saw a lot of taped-up doors and windows as I walked to our friends' house.

This was the side of the house that we needed to board up. There's also one more window off to the left that didn't make it into the pictures.

We finally finished. That last window on the left was horrible to do. We eventually just kind of gave up; the barriers holding that wood on there is really flimsy. Also, we made a slight mistake and ended up with all the nails pointing outward so we didn't scratch the glass of the window. Thus, we put Silly Putty on the nails. Strange problems require strange solutions.

On my way back I saw that our neighbors across the street had the cab of an eighteen-wheeler, in case they had to get away through rising water. I suddenly feel unprepared.

It's now 7:45 PM (these pictures took FOREVER to upload; I did it wrong the first time, too). We're going to eat dinner, watch some news, and go to sleep. Hurricane Rita is scheduled to start affecting us tomorrow night with light showers, and really hit us on Saturday morning. Fun stuff.

The Rita Journal - Day 2

2005-09-22T08:36:00.000-05:00

Thursday: 22 September 2005

8:37 AM. I woke up around 7 AM today to go downstairs, turn on the TV, and listen to a live press conference from the Mayor of Houston. I just drank a cup of tea while watching more TV for the past hour and a half. Somewhere in there I called Jordan to see how her escape was going. Her family, with three people, three cats, and a dog in the "aircraft carrier", was going to New Braunfels. They were stuck on 59, having left at 5 this morning. For today, I'll continue posting throughout the day, instead of the long post I just completed for yesterday. I've got to go take a shower, get ready, and finish packing in case of an emergency evacuation. There's so much to do and it seems, not enough time.

10:11 AM. Took a shower (water pressure was low), got ready, didn't finish packing yet. My parents and I are hurricane-proofing the attic with plastic and newspaper and trays to collect water. Of course, if the roof blows off, that's all a moot point anyways. We're not sure if or when we'll lose power or water; the uncertainty is the worst. We just finished two things in the attic: one was the waterproofing, and the other was hoisting an A/C pipe up that had fallen down. It didn't break, but ended up with a joint in it that was less than forty-five degrees: an easy place to rupture. We spent about thirty hot, sweaty, almost-falling-through-the-ceiling minutes up there tacking and propping it up to a ninety-degree angle, which is quite a bit safer. We just learned that our good friend Rita took another turn for the better (for us at least). Earlier this morning it shifted upwards so that instead of swathing south of Houston, it's now going above Houston. Just now, it shifted again to even above Galveston Bay. Good news for us, bad news for Beaumont.
I had to cut the pomegranates off the tree outside. They're bigger than golf-balls, and could easily become missiles in anything above 75 mph winds. Which reminds me, the winds in Rita went down from 175 mph yesterday to about 167 mph just now. Maybe we'll catch a break and it'll go down even further. Maybe not.

12:12 AM. Quite a few things to write about, just from the last couple hours. I keep on hearing sirens passing by my house, which is right next to highway 6, a hurricane evacuation route. I'm not sure if they're cops or ambulances. My dad and I have been outside for most of the past two hours, bringing our plethora of plants inside and putting them in the kitchen and the foyer. That, or placing the big ones near the garage so we can move them inside the garage tomorrow. I overheard the TV talking about airport delays. Apparently you can't buy tickets anymore, and many flights are delayed up to four hours, not to mention the masses of people trying to get through security.
My dad found a small cache of sealed water bottles in the garage; quite welcome from filling up our own. My friend Monica from Norway finally got on AIM to wish us good luck.
The item that strikes me the most right now is the weather. It's still perfectly clear, just as it was yesterday, but there is absolutely no wind whatsoever; the air is uncannily still. Must be the proverbial calm before the storm. We're going to eat lunch now, finally, and then get back to hurricane-proofing the house.

2:23 PM. We just finished lunch and watching some more taped episodes of 24. Not much else to do here at this time but wait and watch the internet and TV. My parents and I are about to go down the street to help a neighbor board up his windows. Rita's winds have decreased somewhat, but not that much. She's still easily the size of Florida. I'm bringing my camera, so pictures are forthcoming.

The Rita Journal - Day 1

2005-09-21T23:30:00.000-05:00

Wednesday: 21 September 2005

I'm writing this on Thursday morning, at around 8:15 AM.
I didn't know it was this serious until I got to school and everyone was freaking out. In Physics II (first period) we decided that Hurricane Rita would be our main source of error. Fitting, as we're studying rotational motion. At the end of first period we got the announcement that school's cancelled tomorrow (Thursday). After the initial celebration, the mood dimmed somewhat by second period; this isn't looking good. In Economics, Mr. G put in Star Wars, and a few people watched. The rest of us talked and worried. Maerilly's going to somewhere near San Antonio, Luis is off to Tomball; Sarah's parents haven't decided yet. Jordan's going to her grandparents in New Braunfels.
Sarah and I skipped Internship (we called in, don't worry) to go home and help preparations. The parting phrase of the hour, and indeed, the day, seems to be "stay safe". The worst part about this is probably that no one knows just how bad this is going to be.
I called my mom as I left school at around 11:00 AM, and she told me to get gas on the way home; almost every gas station in the area has run out or is running out. After a couple of tries, I finally found one that was still running: the Chevron at 6 and 1092. I stood (or rather, idled) in line, talking to my mom on the phone. I only had nineteen dollars to buy gas with; definitely not enough to fill up the entire tank. Plus, I had no idea how to fill gas without paying via credit card.
My cell phone ran out of battery (stupid tiny battery) just after I told my mom where I was. Luckily, she got it, and just as I pulled up to the pump, she arrived, credit card in hand. The regular gas was almost completely dry; it was "flowing" at a rate of about half a gallon per five minutes. Ugh. We finally ended up cancelling that, and taking the medium gas, with much better results. Two minutes later, the gas station guy came around to put plastic bags on the normal gas nozzles. The truck at the pump across from me arrived before me and was still filling up gas when I left; they had about five or six gas tanks in the back.
Got gas, headed home. The traffic was pretty bad northbound on 6, but that was really due to an accident just south of 59. I started to get increasingly more nervous. I hadn't thought this was so bad until I had got to school.
I finally got home and talked with my mom. She had stopped by to get groceries, and due to my information, managed to avoid the accident that clogged up 6. I think the situation really hit home when I started filling up containers with water, and watched the Weather Channel. It's definitely coming.
I sat on the couch, watching TV until my mom got home. Together, we unloaded groceries and organized the pantry so it would be easy to get anything out. It's a different kind of thinking: instead of convenience now, it's convenience later. How do you anticipate the unpredictable?
I think we're going to stay here, so far. The worst that can happen to us is that the roof blows off and the ceiling collapses, and we have places to go in our house to be safe from that. My sister, in California, wants us to leave, but we have two dogs and three people. To get stuck in traffic in the current Houston heat would be horrible for them and us.
I hurricane-proofed my room as best I could. I got all the loose objects off open areas or behind somewhere and hid my computer and monitor behind my bed. My acoustic guitar and Brandon's electric guitar went in my closet, and my sister's $400 Seagull went in her closet.
Cell phones are all pretty much down today. "ALL CIRCUITS ARE BUSY" is the message we get when trying to call anyone. I think everyone's trying to figure everything out at the same time.
Despite all the preparations, I think my family is relatively calm. We're still making jokes like we usually do, and we ended up watching a few taped episodes of the fourth season of 24 at night before we went to sleep. I think the best moment had to be when, in the middle of all this anticipation, there was a knock at the door. I cracked that the hurricane was here, and we all had a much welcome laugh. The other great moment was when they announced the lifting of all tolls in Houston, and simultaneously, my mom and I suggested we go somewhere. After all, it's free! If you lose your sense of humor, where do you go next?
Amanda Comer called me, asking what my plans were. I told her that we were probably staying. She said she was making a list. Those words are somewhat scary. It feels a lot like dogtags.
AIM is full of chatter. People asking people whether they are staying, or leaving, or where are they leaving to? Again, the parting phrase is always "stay safe." That's the idea here.
I couldn't sleep, so I read Reader's Digest for a bit. Finally, I turned out the lights and turned on the last few songs of "More Than You Think You Are", by Matchbox 20. By the time the CD ended, I was asleep. It was 1:45 AM.

And ANOTHER Quiz!

2005-09-09T21:21:00.000-05:00

Names and dates
[X] who the heck are you? Nirav Vikash Sanghani
[X] where'd you get this? Amanda Comer
[X] when's your birthday? 15 January 1988
[X] how many friends actually remembered to give you $1 for your bday? Not too many.
[X] did you kill any of them for their crapass memory? No.
[X] but did you want to kill them? Maybe.
[X] are they gonna remember this year? Probably not.
[X] when was the last time you had a date? Mid-July, I think?
[X] when's the last time you had a "crush" on someone? A real one, June.
[X] who was it (i promise i won't tell)? The girl who I had my latest date with (we're not together anymore)

Would you say you're...
[X] conservative or liberal (if you're on the fence then fall already!)? Liberalish.
[X] streetsmart or booksmart? Booksmart.
[X] a (man)whore? no.
[X] a "good" christian or muslim or jew or pagan or wtf else you think you are? Probably not...I'm more agnostic/casual Hindu.
[X] an aim-aholic? yeah...i should quit.
[X] a xanga or myspace or other generic online journal -aholic? Not really; I don't post too often and I don't read them that often.
[X] not an asshole? At times.
[X] whiney? At times.
[X] physically attractive to the other (or same) sex? hahahahaha...it goes up as your vision gets worse.

(For the personal questions that I deleted: if I want you to know the answer, then you already do. Stop whining and move on.)

Mandatory friend questions
[X] ever kept being someone's "friend" even though you hated their guts? yes
[X] always belonged in the same clique you do now? no
[X] ever talked about a friend behind their back post-middle school? kind of?
[X] ever spilled a friend's secret? probably
[X] ever done it on purpose? probably
[X] like the tv sitcom "Friends"? yeah! that's classic stuff!
[X] got a friend you just haven't gotten around to telling off? yes.
[X] have a friend other people can't stand? yeah
[X] who's the best listener-friend? jordan!
[X] who makes you feel better when you're down? jordan!
[X] who do you like to get in arguments with? luis or lara
[X] who are you always afraid to offend? that girl.
[X] who makes it seem like you're suddenly the funniest person alive? amanda (and others, but she's the one that came to mind)
[X] who tells you strange things about yourself you've never noticed? Nick? Amanda? I dunno...
[X] who do you know will always forgive if not forget? Luis, probably. Guys are laid-back like that.
[X] who pays attention to you first and foremost in a crowded room? Jordan!
[X] who's always ok with having their homework copied? I dunno...I never really ask.

Favorite
[X] time of day? After dark or early morning.
[X] type of cloud? The cool-looking ones!
[X] weather? Brisk (or snow)
[X] sound? Guitar!
[X] smell? that smell in the acoustic section of guitar center
[X] jacket/hoodie? jacket
[X] non-generic feeling/emotion? aftershock.
[X] temperature? brisk
[X] piece of jewelery? jade necklace
[X] mental image? what's the rating on this?

Family
[X] got relatives you've pretended you didn't know? no
[X] got relatives who've pretended they didn't know you? no
[X] does your grandma actually slip you money? yeah!
[X] do your aunts/uncles argue about who gets your grandparents' stuff when they die? no...jeez
[X] have any secret inbred cousins? no
[X] ever thought your cousin was totally hot? no
[X] have relatives that doesn't speak any english? heck yeah...guju pride!
[X] any royalty blood from way back when? no...but my grandfather was a senator in India
[X] are you a total ethnic mut? no
[X] does your ethnicity have a dash (-) in it? Indian-American, baby!

Lightning Storms and Musical Forms

2005-08-28T21:57:00.000-05:00

Driving home from school at 11 pm last night, an enigma next to me. Lightning storms lit up the sky in cloud-diffused flashes, and the music flowed through me, its powerful form somehow resonating with something inside me. Maybe it was the late hour, or my exhuastion from the all-day debate tournament, but as I watched the road unfold in my headlights and felt the contours of the my jade pendant, I felt as though I was in an interlude of life, and from my vantage point I could see and feel and almost touch it flowing around me, beneath me, and above me. It was an ethereal experience, never to be caught or harnessed or re-enacted. It was surreal reality.

Yes, Another Quiz

2005-08-14T12:28:00.000-05:00

[ spell your first name backwards - varin
[ the story behind your user name – nirav015...do i really need to explain?
[ are you gay – i doubt it
[ where do you live – sugah land, texuhs
[ 4 words that sum you up at – musical, sardonic, ambitious, smart
[ Current Clothes – stanford '06 t-shirt, shorts
[ Current Hair – black, but browning in the front
[ Current Annoyance – always being wrong
[ Current Smell – sweat...i was mulching in the yard with my dad
[ Current thing I ought to be doing - continuing to mulch
[ Current Desktop Picture – this computer generated neuron thing from digitalblasphemy.com
[ Current Favorite Artist - Jimi Hendrix!
[ Current Book you're reading – crime & punishment: story of a russian student who goes quite far over the edge
[ Current CD in CD Player] – Jimi Hendrix: the Ultimate Experience
[ Current Refreshment - waaaaaaaater
[ Current Worry – i'm not going to get the schedule i want when school starts

Last person:
[ You Touched – my mom
[ You Talked to – my dad
[ You Hugged – my mom
[ You Instant messaged - margarita (also known as shirley temple or little one)
[ You Yelled At – lara (but it was in jest)

Favorite:
[ Food - that italian deal i whipped up last night...mmmmmmmm
[ Drink - something coffee
[ Color - blue
[ Shoes – flip-flops (thanks to welch)
[ Animal – dog!
[ Movie – currently, i think the best movie i've watched recently was sin city
[ Vegetable - tomato? idk, really
[ Fruit – apples and cantilope
[ Cartoon – family guy!

ARE YOU...
[ Understanding - i like to think so
[ Open-minded – in amanda's words, "towards non-destructive life-styles"
[ Arrogant – i hope not
[ Insecure – used to be a lot more than i am now
[ Interesting – why don't you find out for yourself?
[ Random – yes indeedy O_O
[ Hungry - semi
[ Friendly – i talk to strange people a lot...does that count?
[ Smart – *sigh* that's what i'm known for
[ Moody – occasionally
[ Childish – not really
[ Independent - as much as i can be
[ Hard working – yeah
[ Organized - sometimes, anally so; other times, not at all
[ Healthy – depends on who you ask
[ Emotionally Stable – i s'pose, but sometimes i have to slap myself upside the head and give myself a good talking to
[ Shy – sometimes
[ Difficult - one person would say HELL YES
[ Attractive – pssht no
[ Bored Easily - nope
[ Thirsty - right now? yeah
[ Responsible - yes
[ Obsessed – guitarguitarguitarguitarguitarguitar
[ Angry – nope
[ Sad – nope
[ Happy – moderately so
[ Hyper – not right now
[ Trusting – only to a few people
[ Talkative – yeah...think foot-in-mouth

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
[ Kill – nobody
[ Slap – somebody
[ Look Like – myself
[ Talk To Offline - jordan or luis
[ Talk To Online - shan! get online you lazy bastard!

BEST
[ Kisser - right, cuz i've got SO MUCH experience...pssht
[ smile – ack...this is too hard
[ eyes - jordan (that awesome cateye of yours!)
[ laugh – my sister, priti
[ story teller – ji ye!

The F*ck-Up

2005-08-06T18:49:00.000-05:00

The name sounds like a Seinfeld episode, doesn't it? The episode that was too grim and depressing to be aired.

I had to do something horrible last Tuesday. And while at that point it had to be done, I could have avoided it so many times in the previous few weeks that it's not even funny. I f*cked up, big time. For the first time in my life, I burned someone badly; treated them in a way that I know the impacts of only too well. I don't even have the consolation of thinking I'm right. I know I'm wrong. I know what I did was horrible, and I know that the reason it came down to me having to do it was because of my own screwups and my own weakness. I hope it's understood that I'm so, so sorry for everything.

And all I have for consolation is senior year's summer reading about a strange Russian man gone quite far over the edge (Crime & Punishment, if you didn't know).

Well anyways, I guess I know what NOT to do ever, ever again. I'm sorry.

Poker Analogy

2005-08-02T21:34:00.000-05:00

Every situation in life can be related to poker. For example:

Right now I'm in the game with a fairly large amount in the pot. There are a few other people in. I have a three-ten, off-suit. Nothing. Now the question is, do I keep betting, use more money, and stay in the game? Or would it be better for me to just fold and get out while I haven't put in too much? It's not a fun game, and it's not a very fun table. I'm really not sure why I'm even here. Every ounce of common sense is telling me to fold, but I know that as soon as I do, I'll regret it. I don't know why, I just will. There's no chance of me winning; I'm pretty sure one of my opponents has a couple of aces, but I don't want to fold. It's too painful (here's where the poker analogy slightly breaks down a little bit, I suppose). I guess I have to, though. I need to get on, move on, float on. I toss my cards to the dealer. I fold.

Con-Freaking-Gratulations!

2005-06-29T09:33:00.000-05:00

1st Place Biomed Nationals: Ha, Asif, Darren, Neil.

Holy crap. Congratulations guys; y'all definitely earned it.

A Welch post is forthcoming.

One and Two

2005-06-04T12:05:00.000-05:00

Two things:

1. Yes, I will be gone from June 4th to July 9th. I will be doing a chemistry research internship at Texas Tech University in Lubbock, Texas with about ten other high schoolers going into their senior year, under the Welch Summer Scholar's Program. I will have my cell phone, will have access to the Internet (email and AIM), and will have a mailing address (hint hint):

Nirav Sanghani
Texas Tech University
Chemistry and Biochemistry Department
Box 41061
Lubbock, TX 79406

Also, my dorm room's phone number is 806-724-0985.

2. If you want a few volunteer hours and are free this Monday at 5:30 to go to the Alley Theater, call Naveed Nanjee (a Hightower student) at 713-876-5941. The Music Heals charity organization (which he created) is holding a charity chamber music concert/competition. All proceeds go to the Bush-Clinton Tsunami fund. Go volunteer and help him out!

Have a great summer!

That will be all.

All I Need

2005-05-24T21:44:00.000-05:00

Whoof.

And you miss her the most when it's two in the morning, and your headache is pounding, and your nose is stuffed up and disgusting, and your fever makes it hard to even think straight, and you're sore everywhere, and you're so tired that you can't sleep no matter what you do, and you wouldn't even possibly think of calling anyone at that hour but her, because you know that even though she's got a final exam the next morning, and she hasn't slept much, she'll still lie to you and say she was awake anyways, and talk you to sleep, no matter how long it takes.

But you can't call, because it ended. Because it's gone.

Pratham Gala 2005!

2005-05-08T11:39:00.000-05:00

So here I am again, blogging about the Pratham Gala. The post from last year is here, just in case you want to read the background or whatever.

Okay, so...yesterday morning I took the new SAT. That thing is LOOOOONG. Ten section! I was exhausted by the end of it. And plus, it was my fourth four-hour test in six days. That amounts to (I calculated this during the SAT) 400 multiple choice questions, 7 essays, and 6 Calculus free-response questions.

After that, I went straight to the Westin Galleria Ballroom downtown and got a Frappuccino, then went to help with set-up, which took quite a while. We had to set up tables for the entire ballroom, along with random crap that we had to put on the tables. I met Nupur, Meera, Priya, Puneet, Nirali, Akshay Uncle, and some other people whose names I forgot/never knew.

We all went and changed at one point or another; Nupur and friends took about an hour. Sheesh.

There wasn't much to do after that. I helped get the presentations and stuff started up in the catwalk, and then I was pretty much free to do whatever I wanted. There was Indian dancing, of course...LOTS of it. My whole body's sore from that; I'm not really used to it.

There was slow-dancing, yes. I did possibly the gayest thing I've ever done: slow-danced with this other guy named Mayur for about five seconds.

THEN there was garbah and bhangra and other stuff; we had fun. Dimple's husband was HILARIOUS; Mayur and I backed him up for all these love songs that he did dramatic enactments of.

Nupur and family took me home; thanks! I talked at length with her dad on the way him; very interesting conversation there. He's a cool person.

That's about it. There was, of course, a ton more stuff, but I think that stuff should stay between us volunteers.

*laughs nervously*

NFL Districts

2005-04-30T17:13:00.000-05:00

The 25 highlights of the National Forensics League Districts tournament:

1. Forgiving, but not forgetting, at 2 am, the day of.

2. This shit is BANANAS!

3. A judge told me that he thought I had debated my case at TFA State.

4. Asif and Shamez fooled everyone into thinking they had beat the best team at the tournament.

5. Asif and Shamez got a no-show AND a bye. Completely unfair.

6. I finally figured out how to do extemp.

7. B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

8. Learning French by context clues.

9. "Nice hat."

10. The schedule from hell: extemp, extemp, debate, debate, all back-to-back, with no break in between.

11. Spoons...I mean, pens.

12. Duck, duck, goose.

13. WE'RE BANANAS!

14. "Insert previous comeback here."

15. "Lemme reflect for five minutes, then I'll be right with you."

16. Discounted pizza.

17. Inside connections to get lower Frappuccino prices (thanks Brett).

18. Indian tea!

19. URLs? We don't need no stinkin' URLs!

20. Soaked-in-sweat Kevin hugging Mrs. Gilson.

21. Brownies and lemonade! (thanks Mrs. Gilson!)

22. I cut my LD case during my opponent's speech.

23. Germophobic racist judges. Damn them!

24. This random kid humped the wolf statue.

25. And of course, the very best part was spending two days with Lara.

That's all, folks!

Explanation

2005-04-20T23:33:00.000-05:00

I guess a lot of you want the story. Sorry, but to protect the innocent (and the guilty), I'd rather not just toss it out on the Internet. If you're really interested, ask, and I might tell.

For this blog, suffice it to say that I got burned, twice, by the same person, in the same place, and now I'm healing. I'm writing about it; not specifics, but instead general entries in a journal about what I've learned. No, you can't read it yet. Yes, you can read it when it's done. In fact, I'm writing it because I want it to be read, eventually. I'd like people to know not what happened, but why and how it happened. Again, however, it's not specific, to protect certain people.

To my friends and family: I'm sorry. I know I've been pretty annoying for the past couple weeks, and probably somewhat of a burden. In the past few months, too, I've drifted away from many of you, and only after all this happened did I realize how stupid that was. Some of you, in spite of me, did things for me that just blew me away. To those few of you especially, and to anyone and everyone who's put up with my complaining, venting, ranting, and philosophical theorizing, you have my sincerest thanks.

Anyways, I've got some music to face, and some new memories to make.

Peace.

Tales of a Small Traveller

2005-04-11T18:20:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone! My sister, Priti, a Stanford University student who is studying abroad in Florence, Italy for a quarter, has started sending me back a batch of journal entries every week. I started a blog so these can be published online, because they're really well written and very interesting. You can find the "Tales of a Small Traveller" here. Enjoy!

Calling All Angels

2005-03-20T21:26:00.000-06:00

I need a sign to let me know you’re here
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere
I need to know that things are gonna look up
Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup
When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head
When you can feel the world shake from the words that I said

And I’m calling all angels
And I’m calling all you angels

And I won’t give up if you don’t give up
I won’t give up if you don’t give up
I won’t give up if you don’t give up
I won’t give up if you don’t give up

I need a sign to let me know you’re here
Cause my tv set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me

And I’m calling all angels
And I’m calling all you angels

When children have to play inside so they don’t disappear
While private eyes solve marriage lies cause we don't talk for years
And football teams are kissing queens and losing sight of having dreams
In a world where all we want is only what we want until it’s ours

And I’m calling all angels
And I’m calling all you angels...

Never There

2005-03-20T21:00:00.000-06:00

I need your arms around me, I need to feel your touch
I need your understanding, I need your love so much
You tell me that you love me so, you tell me that you care
But when I need you baby, you’re never there

On the phone long, long distance
Always through such strong resistance
First you say you’re too busy
I wonder if you even miss me

Never there
You’re never there
You’re never, ever, ever, ever there

A golden bird that flies away, a candle’s fickle flame
To think I held you yesterday, your love was just a game
A golden bird that flies away, a candle’s fickle flame
To think I held you yesterday, your love was just a game

You tell me that you love me so, you tell me that you care
But when I need you baby
Take the time to get to know me
If you want me why can’t you just show me
We’re always on this roller coaster
If you want me why can’t you get closer?

Never there
You’re never there
You’re never ever ever ever there...

The Connection

2005-03-09T00:46:00.000-06:00

I almost can't believe it's been over a year since I met her.

Up 'til a little while ago, the "thing" that's between me and her has been somewhat secret information (not that anyone really didn't know, except for maybe Justin Flores), but now it's pretty much out in the open.

However, this isn't just for the almost-girlfriend. This is also for the confidant, the therapist, the late-night AIM and phone companion, and for the all around best friend.

This is for the girl who's shown me more of myself than I could ever hope to find on my own, and the girl who's made me feel more needed and loved than I ever have before.

Love. What is love? Everyone who I've asked can describe symptoms ("Love is when...", etc.) but no one can tell me what it really is. And after nine months of trying to figure it out, I've realized that I don't want someone to tell me. Because I think I've found it, or at least something like it, in this girl.

"Love is just a word...what matters is the connection it implies."

Somewhere in between visiting Italy in our imaginations at 2 AM while preparing for a debate tournament, and half-dancing in the courtyard at Scarborough High School, between improvising piano duets and perpetually duelling in ERS, I've found a bond that's way too strong to be anything normal.

I don't know if it's love; I may never know if it's love, but this connection isn't something you stumble across every day, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I love you, kid.

The Switch

2005-02-24T23:55:00.000-06:00

Ever had someone just change on you? Not permanently change, not be forever different, but just for a little while, they're not the person you knew.

What do you do?

You can't treat them like they were before, because they don't respond the same way. And for me, at least, I sit here, trying to find the old best friend in her, but as much as I dig, it's not there. Or at least, it's buried really deep.

Do you treat them differently?

It's like talking to someone else in your friend's body, then. Like someone else wearing a really good costume. That's literally how it feels; like you're talking to some other person using her screen name, or cell phone, or face and body.

I don't know what to do. I just hope it passes quickly, because I want my Ha back.

It's Not a Game

2005-02-10T01:00:00.000-06:00

I have just been insulted. Me and the rest of the male gender. What I just saw was something so unthinkable I couldn't have...I wouldn't have...imagined it in my worst nightmares.

I didn't think that real people could be so unfeeling. I didn't think that someone could willingly hurt someone else so badly. I didn't think I'd ever be friends with someone this callous.

I almost can't believe it. Almost...except for the tears in a girl's eyes and the shards of her heart on the floor.

So here's a warning to the rest of my gender: you'd better get your act together. Don't tell a girl you love her if you don't. Don't treat a girl like she doesn't matter. Don't screw around with a girl's heart just because it's convenient. Don't take the easy way out and run from your problems.

You see that wonderful look in her eyes? You know, when she's snuggled up to you and she looks up at you with the most implicit trust you'll ever see?

Don't betray that trust. And if you're not ready, then stay away from it. Because guys? It's not a game.

"...Maybe I'm longing in a way of love naive,
Maybe I'm desperate for a reason to believe;
There wasn't any way I thought that we would fall;
I've seen perfection in a rainbow in the sky,
I've seen a child make the coldest grown man cry,
But loving you I thought was greater than them all,
And we had it all, just you and me,
And now there's a doorway to my heart without a key..."

Hello World!

2005-02-05T17:35:00.000-06:00

Hi there, fellow readers! Since your beloved Nirav has seemed to have taken leave for an extensive amount of time away from his precious blog, I have resolved to post in his place once, just to fill in the gap a bit.

I honestly don't blame him for not posting frequently anymore. After all, he seems to be quite busy doing the following:
1. Scoring a 1600 on the SAT I w00t w00t!!! *cough*nerd*cough*
2. Qualifying for the state UIL solo n ensemble competition (viola)
3. Qualifying for the state thingy in German Club (in 2 events!)
4. Getting ready to go to TMSCA state for m/s
5. Staying number ONE in the junior class
6. and TRYING to still seem like a NORMAL person. Hah!

*grin* Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Nirav Sanghani IS human (for the most part).
Hmm.... or is he...

[insert moment of thoughtful pondering here]

OR....could your hero a la academia be some product of ingenius hybridization? Could he just be the ultra-nerd? The ultimate 17 year old model student?

[more pondering]

Nahh. Can't be. He was crazy enough to join us speechies... that most definitely renders him as being a sucker *wink*.

So ANYWAYS, solo and ensemble was today. Yours truly is also qualified for state, courtesy of Ravel and his pansy-like music. Congrats out there to everyone out there who made the cut! (Go Pradnya, Maerilly, Iris, Joy, Yenn Yenn, Parul, Nirav, Sarah, Viet, Tanaya, etc...) Looks like we'll all get to go to state as one big happy family! ...scary thought, eh?

Okay...I'm having a lot of uneccessary trouble coming up with topics that don't revolve around myself. So, on that note, I bid you goodbye and hope that this post does not get deleted by "the management."

A New Blog

2005-01-26T13:24:00.000-06:00

Hello world. So it's almost the one year anniversary of my blog. The first post was on February 26, 2004. Exactly one month from today, this outlet for my thoughts and ruminations will be one year old.
In that celebratory vein, I'm making a few changes to this. First, as you might have noticed, I changed the template to Blogger's rounders3. This is semi-permanent, as I'm going to be changing it up a lot over the next month; I'm going to add a menu bar with drop down menus for links (something that I've been lacking for a while), previous posts, and archives. The tagboard will be added back in on the right hand bar. That's the design.
I put Ha in charge of music, so she will kindly update the music on my blog to reflect the posts (or her mood, whichever).
So look out for those changes, and I'll definitely be back for an anniversary post, if not before.
Cheers!

17

2005-01-17T14:35:00.000-06:00

2005. A new calender year, a new life year.

January 15th. My seventeenth birthday. Lackluster Math & Science tournament, followed by absolutely wonderful surprise birthday party. Taboo, table tennis, Napoleon Dynamite, cake, pizza, guitar, shoes, giveaways, hiding, piano, and a very special birthday wish. Thank you Pranay and Ha and Joy for inviting everyone. Thank you everyone for coming: Pranay, Spandana, Milan, Farrukh, Blake, Liz, Ha, Jordan, Tram, Chris, Easton, and last, but most definitely not least, thanks to my wonderful parents for planning everything, for the hilarious lies to explain away Ha's phone, for the lame excuse to get me out of the house, for the cake, for the memories...

It had to be my best birthday ever.

2005. This is my year.

Fixing It

2005-01-11T22:37:00.000-06:00

To everyone who asked me about the previous post, or offered their help, or gave me advice, or just plain listened to me...thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys must be the best friends in the world.

Okay, all sappiness aside, yes, I had a problem, and due to some thinking on my part, and talking on my friends' parts, I'm on the way to fixing it, I think. It's going to be hard, and it's going to require some sacrifices, but it's going to be worth it in the end (sound familiar, ha?).

What had happened was, my life finally caught up with me. From sleep to academics to friends to debate to AIM to SATs to viola to Region to Math & Science to everything else that's floating around in my world...it all just hit me simultaneously. And it all started to hurt. It just...hurt.

That's still there, but I'm trying to not think about it, and to fix it at the same time. With both of those, I think I'm going to be okay.

Recognition

2005-01-07T22:58:00.000-06:00

I hate this.

I, admittedly, crave praise. It's just in me; it's a part of me. But it's not just recognition by other people; it needs to come from myself. It's like I have these inbuilt standards that I have to live up to, otherwise it all sucks. Everything's just wrong. And I guess that's how things are right now.

Right now, I get recognition for academics. I'm number one in my class. But what is that, really? I know I'm going to get a spiel from a bunch of people as soon as I post this, but here goes anyways: once you're here, it's not really that great. I mean, what have I learned? The last ten years of my life have taught me how to bubble in lettered circles on an answer sheet; I'm good at taking tests.

And it's not very fun. Doing "good" in school doesn't mean that I'm smart, or intelligent, or that I know the U.S. History book by heart. It just means that I know how to take multiple-choice tests. I know the system, and even though I don't cheat, I still know how best to get around in it. But what have I learnt through all this? The system. That's all. Nothing that I can claim to be my own, nothing that's really me. Just an arbitrary "education" system.

I can't take this anymore. It's ripping me up inside. Every couple of weeks I have a bad two or three days, and they're horrible, and even though I get better afterwards, they keep on coming back. And every time, it's just more and more frustrating. Not with anyone, not with anything, but with myself. And this just isn't working for me anymore. It has to change NOW.

Merry Christmas!

2004-12-25T11:00:00.000-06:00

...or whatever it is you celebrate. However your religion, customs, or beliefs may differ from mine, I hope that all of you get to spend time with loved ones during the holidays, and that's something that we can all celebrate together.

This, I believe, is the first Christmas I haven't really wanted anything. Sure, I want a laptop, and "someday", and a car, and a license, but I'm not expecting any of those. With my sister gone most of the year, and my dad flying in and out between here and Argentina, what I wanted most in the world, family, I got. Having all six of us (my mom, dad, sister, and both dogs) together gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. I ended up with a movie and a hat (from Argentina, no less), but this Christmas, the best present of all was my family.

Merry Christmas, folks.