And ANOTHER Quiz!

Names and dates
[X] who the heck are you? Nirav Vikash Sanghani
[X] where'd you get this? Amanda Comer
[X] when's your birthday? 15 January 1988
[X] how many friends actually remembered to give you $1 for your bday? Not too many.
[X] did you kill any of them for their crapass memory? No.
[X] but did you want to kill them? Maybe.
[X] are they gonna remember this year? Probably not.
[X] when was the last time you had a date? Mid-July, I think?
[X] when's the last time you had a "crush" on someone? A real one, June.
[X] who was it (i promise i won't tell)? The girl who I had my latest date with (we're not together anymore)

Would you say you're...
[X] conservative or liberal (if you're on the fence then fall already!)? Liberalish.
[X] streetsmart or booksmart? Booksmart.
[X] a (man)whore? no.
[X] a "good" christian or muslim or jew or pagan or wtf else you think you are? Probably not...I'm more agnostic/casual Hindu.
[X] an aim-aholic? yeah...i should quit.
[X] a xanga or myspace or other generic online journal -aholic? Not really; I don't post too often and I don't read them that often.
[X] not an asshole? At times.
[X] whiney? At times.
[X] physically attractive to the other (or same) sex? hahahahaha...it goes up as your vision gets worse.

(For the personal questions that I deleted: if I want you to know the answer, then you already do. Stop whining and move on.)

Mandatory friend questions
[X] ever kept being someone's "friend" even though you hated their guts? yes
[X] always belonged in the same clique you do now? no
[X] ever talked about a friend behind their back post-middle school? kind of?
[X] ever spilled a friend's secret? probably
[X] ever done it on purpose? probably
[X] like the tv sitcom "Friends"? yeah! that's classic stuff!
[X] got a friend you just haven't gotten around to telling off? yes.
[X] have a friend other people can't stand? yeah
[X] who's the best listener-friend? jordan!
[X] who makes you feel better when you're down? jordan!
[X] who do you like to get in arguments with? luis or lara
[X] who are you always afraid to offend? that girl.
[X] who makes it seem like you're suddenly the funniest person alive? amanda (and others, but she's the one that came to mind)
[X] who tells you strange things about yourself you've never noticed? Nick? Amanda? I dunno...
[X] who do you know will always forgive if not forget? Luis, probably. Guys are laid-back like that.
[X] who pays attention to you first and foremost in a crowded room? Jordan!
[X] who's always ok with having their homework copied? I dunno...I never really ask.

Favorite
[X] time of day? After dark or early morning.
[X] type of cloud? The cool-looking ones!
[X] weather? Brisk (or snow)
[X] sound? Guitar!
[X] smell? that smell in the acoustic section of guitar center
[X] jacket/hoodie? jacket
[X] non-generic feeling/emotion? aftershock.
[X] temperature? brisk
[X] piece of jewelery? jade necklace
[X] mental image? what's the rating on this?

Family
[X] got relatives you've pretended you didn't know? no
[X] got relatives who've pretended they didn't know you? no
[X] does your grandma actually slip you money? yeah!
[X] do your aunts/uncles argue about who gets your grandparents' stuff when they die? no...jeez
[X] have any secret inbred cousins? no
[X] ever thought your cousin was totally hot? no
[X] have relatives that doesn't speak any english? heck yeah...guju pride!
[X] any royalty blood from way back when? no...but my grandfather was a senator in India
[X] are you a total ethnic mut? no
[X] does your ethnicity have a dash (-) in it? Indian-American, baby!

Lightning Storms and Musical Forms

Driving home from school at 11 pm last night, an enigma next to me. Lightning storms lit up the sky in cloud-diffused flashes, and the music flowed through me, its powerful form somehow resonating with something inside me. Maybe it was the late hour, or my exhuastion from the all-day debate tournament, but as I watched the road unfold in my headlights and felt the contours of the my jade pendant, I felt as though I was in an interlude of life, and from my vantage point I could see and feel and almost touch it flowing around me, beneath me, and above me. It was an ethereal experience, never to be caught or harnessed or re-enacted. It was surreal reality.

Yes, Another Quiz

[ spell your first name backwards - varin
[ the story behind your user name – nirav015...do i really need to explain?
[ are you gay – i doubt it
[ where do you live – sugah land, texuhs
[ 4 words that sum you up at – musical, sardonic, ambitious, smart
[ Current Clothes – stanford '06 t-shirt, shorts
[ Current Hair – black, but browning in the front
[ Current Annoyance – always being wrong
[ Current Smell – sweat...i was mulching in the yard with my dad
[ Current thing I ought to be doing - continuing to mulch
[ Current Desktop Picture – this computer generated neuron thing from digitalblasphemy.com
[ Current Favorite Artist - Jimi Hendrix!
[ Current Book you're reading – crime & punishment: story of a russian student who goes quite far over the edge
[ Current CD in CD Player] – Jimi Hendrix: the Ultimate Experience
[ Current Refreshment - waaaaaaaater
[ Current Worry – i'm not going to get the schedule i want when school starts

Last person:
[ You Touched – my mom
[ You Talked to – my dad
[ You Hugged – my mom
[ You Instant messaged - margarita (also known as shirley temple or little one)
[ You Yelled At – lara (but it was in jest)

Favorite:
[ Food - that italian deal i whipped up last night...mmmmmmmm
[ Drink - something coffee
[ Color - blue
[ Shoes – flip-flops (thanks to welch)
[ Animal – dog!
[ Movie – currently, i think the best movie i've watched recently was sin city
[ Vegetable - tomato? idk, really
[ Fruit – apples and cantilope
[ Cartoon – family guy!


ARE YOU...
[ Understanding - i like to think so
[ Open-minded – in amanda's words, "towards non-destructive life-styles"
[ Arrogant – i hope not
[ Insecure – used to be a lot more than i am now
[ Interesting – why don't you find out for yourself?
[ Random – yes indeedy O_O
[ Hungry - semi
[ Friendly – i talk to strange people a lot...does that count?
[ Smart – *sigh* that's what i'm known for
[ Moody – occasionally
[ Childish – not really
[ Independent - as much as i can be
[ Hard working – yeah
[ Organized - sometimes, anally so; other times, not at all
[ Healthy – depends on who you ask
[ Emotionally Stable – i s'pose, but sometimes i have to slap myself upside the head and give myself a good talking to
[ Shy – sometimes
[ Difficult - one person would say HELL YES
[ Attractive – pssht no
[ Bored Easily - nope
[ Thirsty - right now? yeah
[ Responsible - yes
[ Obsessed – guitarguitarguitarguitarguitarguitar
[ Angry – nope
[ Sad – nope
[ Happy – moderately so
[ Hyper – not right now
[ Trusting – only to a few people
[ Talkative – yeah...think foot-in-mouth

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
[ Kill – nobody
[ Slap – somebody
[ Look Like – myself
[ Talk To Offline - jordan or luis
[ Talk To Online - shan! get online you lazy bastard!


BEST
[ Kisser - right, cuz i've got SO MUCH experience...pssht
[ smile – ack...this is too hard
[ eyes - jordan (that awesome cateye of yours!)
[ laugh – my sister, priti
[ story teller – ji ye!

The F*ck-Up

The name sounds like a Seinfeld episode, doesn't it? The episode that was too grim and depressing to be aired.

I had to do something horrible last Tuesday. And while at that point it had to be done, I could have avoided it so many times in the previous few weeks that it's not even funny. I f*cked up, big time. For the first time in my life, I burned someone badly; treated them in a way that I know the impacts of only too well. I don't even have the consolation of thinking I'm right. I know I'm wrong. I know what I did was horrible, and I know that the reason it came down to me having to do it was because of my own screwups and my own weakness. I hope it's understood that I'm so, so sorry for everything.

And all I have for consolation is senior year's summer reading about a strange Russian man gone quite far over the edge (Crime & Punishment, if you didn't know).

Well anyways, I guess I know what NOT to do ever, ever again. I'm sorry.

Poker Analogy

Every situation in life can be related to poker. For example:

Right now I'm in the game with a fairly large amount in the pot. There are a few other people in. I have a three-ten, off-suit. Nothing. Now the question is, do I keep betting, use more money, and stay in the game? Or would it be better for me to just fold and get out while I haven't put in too much? It's not a fun game, and it's not a very fun table. I'm really not sure why I'm even here. Every ounce of common sense is telling me to fold, but I know that as soon as I do, I'll regret it. I don't know why, I just will. There's no chance of me winning; I'm pretty sure one of my opponents has a couple of aces, but I don't want to fold. It's too painful (here's where the poker analogy slightly breaks down a little bit, I suppose). I guess I have to, though. I need to get on, move on, float on. I toss my cards to the dealer. I fold.