Mar 29, 2004

Eat Less, Be Hungry

A recent report talked about a study entitled “Eat Less, Live Longer.” These seem to pop up everywhere, you know? “Exercise More, Live Longer”, or “Eat More Calories, Become More Caloric”, or perhaps “Eat More, Become Bigger”.

In any case, the study was on a group of mice that apparently hung around with an even age distribution until researchers picked them up for tests. The interesting part was that, quote: “Even older mice on restricted diets fare better in research.” According to Dr. Spindler, a 19-month-old mouse is equivalent to a 60 or 65-year-old human. This is roughly one mouse week per human year, and raises some important questions like:

1. Do mice have 40-week birthday parties with gag cards that say things like “It’s your birthday, so I wish you luck” on the outside, and then on the inside say “You’re 40 (weeks). You’re going to need it”?

2. Do old mice reminisce about when they were little, and they had to steal cheese by hand, and didn’t get any of “them fancy trap-snappin’ contraptions” that young mice are so completely corrupted by nowadays?

I think these are questions that need to be thought about by American citizens, simply because they kill so many less brain cells than some current music which seems to consist of one note played repeatedly on a torched cat strung on a guitar.

At the end, the article, of course, claims that aging may eventually be slowed down by taking a pill. I think all articles about medical advances say that nowadays.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go help my mice put on their dentures.

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