An English to English Dictionary

The english language is so weird. to show you what i mean, let's look at a passage from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, translated into English through the ages...

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SCENE I. Verona. A public place.

Enter SAMPSON and GREGORY, of the house of Capulet, armed with swords and bucklers
SAMPSON
Gregory, o' my word, we'll not carry coals.

GREGORY
No, for then we should be colliers.

SAMPSON
I mean, an we be in choler, we'll draw.

GREGORY
Ay, while you live, draw your neck out o' the collar.

SAMPSON
I strike quickly, being moved.

GREGORY
But thou art not quickly moved to strike.

SAMPSON
A dog of the house of Montague moves me.

GREGORY
To move is to stir; and to be valiant is to stand:
therefore, if thou art moved, thou runn'st away.
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That was the original Shakespeare...now let's see the modern summary/translation, courtesy of SparkNotes...
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Sampson and Gregory, two servants of the house of Capulet, stroll through the streets of Verona. With bawdy banter, Sampson vents his hatred of the house of Montague. The two exchange punning remarks about physically conquering Montague men and sexually conquering Montague women.

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and now translated to the way a AOL user would write it, via the AOLer Translator...
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SCENE I. Verona. A public place.

Enter SAMPSON and GREGORY, of the house of Capulet, armed with swords and bucklers
SAMPSON
GRAGORY O MAH WORD WAL NOT CARY COALS

GREGORY
NO FOR THEN WA SHUD B COLEIRS

SAMPSON
I MAAN AN WE B IN CHOLAR W3L DRAW

GREGORY
AY WHIEL U LIEV DRAW UR NEK OUT O DA COLAR

SAMPSON
I STRIEK QUIKLY BNG MOVED

GREGORY
BUT THOU ART NOT QUIKLY MOVED 2 STRIEK

SAMPSON
A DOG OF TEH HOUSA OF MONTAGU3 MOV3S ME

GREGORY
2 MOV3 IS 2 STIR AND 2 B VALIANT IS 2 THEIR IF THOU ART MOVAD THOU RUNST AWAY!!1! LOL
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