What's happened to the world these days?
Take, for example, Cracker Jacks. They used to be in cardboard boxes with actual prizes, like rings and crap. They were so cool! When I was in elementary school, that's all I ever played with. And then sometimes you'd stumble across one of those 'special' boxes. You know, the ones filled with the white powder and money? Those were great, too! For some reason, my mind links those special boxes with the best times of my life. Like that time we set the neighbor's cat on fire. Or that car that we stole and drove into our house. Those were the days...
But now they have stupid little foil packages like chips or something. I'll bet they aren't even covered with caramel anymore! It's probably just brown paint and sugar. And now they only have dinky paper things for "prizes". What kind of prize is that? They just have mind puzzles and crap! What's up with that?
So there you have it. Irrefutable* proof that our world is going to the dogs.